Ozark Mountain Bottleworks Cream

If you like red sodas and geographic beauty then perhaps Ozark Mountain Bottleworks Cream will be right up your alley.  If you review sodas and are somewhat picky then I guess you’ll have to either review this on your own site or just take the easy road and read this review.  

Ozark Mountain Bottleworks (OBM) Cream is clearly a red cream soda.  If your eyes haven’t failed you then the tiny ingredients on the side will inform you that it’s been sweetened with cane sugar.  The label is very reminiscent of Howdy Cherries Jubilee, but something tells me that’s where the similarities end.

So... very... happy.

So... very... happy.

The aroma from this bottle is much stronger than anticipated.  A cream scent so rich that it makes me think of marshmallows rather than cream soda.  Perhaps this will be more interesting than I originally anticipated.

Well that is rather unique.  It’s a red (in color) cream soda that doesn’t taste like a red cream soda.  In fact it swings more towards a regular cream.  A strong cream taste has now made it’s home within my mouth.  Currently he’s not at home, but there are signs of life.  Clothes on the floor, a faucet dripping, and the pantry door is open.  I have indeed taken a swig recently, but again he is not at home.

The keys rustle at the door and the owner of the house barges in, tossing the keys on the counter.  Cream is home and the blustery weather behind him rushes along my tongue causing a pleasant mouth feel.  Almost as soon as he arrived at his abode he passes out on the couch and the house is silent once again.  The only sounds audible are the sleeping breaths of its owner.

If that was too “high concept” for you… as it was for me… then here’s the short version.  The cream flavor is fairly intense, but the aftertaste is right there with it stride for stride.  It’s not a very pretty flavor, but it’s powerful and enjoyable.

Give it a shot.

~A

This was purchased for me by STUN3R


Fitz's Cardinal Cream

I’ve professed my nostalgic love of red cream soda on the site before so I won’t really go into that this time.  Just know that nostalgic love is what influenced me to try Fitz’s Cardinal Cream.  At first I thought that they were being witty using cardinal instead of “red” in their title.  Looking at the bottle I see that Fitz’s is bottled in St. Louis, MO so I’m pretty sure that the location is playing a large part of why this is called “cardinal”.

Fitz’s uses cane sugar… sorry, All Natural Pure Cane Sugar, in their sweetening.  They also use both artificial and natural flavors for those who just can’t choose between the two.

Should there be a travel Twist or should I get another animal... perhaps a raptor or tiny hippo?

Popping off the top I immediately recognize the red cream soda scent.  A little like a bubble gum with an ominous kick to it.  My mind races back to the nostalgic moments I wrote about before, but will not write here because you need to read them for yourselves.  Everything shouldn’t be handed to you on a platter.

The first sip burns as it slinks down the ol’ watering hole.  The bubble gum taste is strong with this one, but a slight vanilla flavor appears at the end.  With the sweetness of the two flavors this drink teeters on becoming a sugary mess and some might even call it one.  Personally it’s more acceptable to me if someone in the cream soda is a sugary mess just because they are sweet by nature.

The carbonation in this is fantastic as I mentioned before.  It starts off smooth, but that final burn is wonderfully different.  It’s the ying to the yang of this soda.  Don’t misunderstand me though, this is not a complex soda.  In fact it’s incredibly simple which is why it works.  

For every upside though there is always some downsides.  The mouthfeel is a bit syrupy at times and there is the slightest of slight chemical aftertastes.  Those two things aside this is a pretty good drink and one I might pick up again.  It’s tasty, but it’s not special which is why it’s rated as it is.

~A

This was purchased at a Shell Gas Station

Boots Beverages Coconut Cream Soda

So the last time we met up with Boots they made a dewberry soda that I thought would taste a bit better if it were a dewberry cream soda.  Little did I know that their next soda that I would pull would be of the cream soda variety.  You probably think I remember what I put in my fridge, that’s where you’re terribly, terribly wrong.  So today we have a bottle of Coconut Cream Soda and I’ve gotta tell you I’m a little excited.  This sounds like a unique and tasty idea.

Much like the last bottle there’s a face on the bottle identified as “Aunt Katy”, this one looking more spectral than the last.  The story that coincides with Aunt Katy, written on the bottle, is as follows:

“Boots”, Katy’s little brother, rarely paid her as they struggled to keep the family business going.  To make ends meet, Katy doubled as an ice cream wholesaler.  Her nephew Mark loved the dreamsicles so much he ate up all the profits.  No matter.  They always delivered those small pleasures!

So there you have it.  Another look into the story of Boots.  Honestly, up to this point I thought it was called Boots Beverages because it was made in Texas and you know… cowboys and stuff.  I should have punctuated that last sentence better.  The soda wasn’t made in cowboys to my knowledge.  I’m just gonna open the bottle.

Twist is jealous of the sweet blue cap

A light coconut aroma lifts itself out of the bottle and begins to perk up as time passes by.  The scent only adds to my excitement for this beverage.  Coconut cream works so well as a pie, why shouldn’t it as a soda?  For the record I don’t expect this to taste like the pie at all.

Ok, initially I’m getting more cream taste than coconut, but it seems the aftertaste is heavier on the latter.  Each sip takes a similar path thus far.  It tastes like a cream soda right off the bat.  This familiar taste fades into the background as the coconut comes forward to bow to his parents.  Then he stands on the stage a little too long until it gets awkward.  

Yes the aftertaste lingers a bit longer than I’d like, but it has no cares for my likes and dislikes. It just do what an aftertaste do.  I now sit here long after the carbonation has fizzed way, long after I tasted the cream soda, long after I took a sip.  Still it lingers.  This kid is just frozen.  Staring into the audience unable to move.  Sure, we liked his performance, but we’re ready to go home and watch Doctor Who.  GET OFF THE STAGE!  He won’t and I dislike him more and more for it.

~A

This was purchased at an HEB grocery store.

Cicero Beverage Company Candied Bacon Cream Soda

Wow, I need to clean off my desk.  I just checked to see if I’d reviewed Cicero Beverage Company Candied Bacon Cream Soda before, obviously I haven’t, and the search came up with my review of Cicero Beverage Company Salted Caramel Root Beer.  Then I looked to my right and saw the half empty bottle of Cicero Beverage Company Salted Caramel Root Beer.  To reiterate, I need to clean off my desk.

So as you may have guessed today’s review is of Cicero Beverage Company Candied Bacon Cream Soda and at no point am I going to shorten the name for ease.  No, Carbonation, I’m going to type it out every time to emphasize how ridiculous it is.  By the way this is sweetened with cane sugar and contains both natural and artificial flavors.  With that said, I’m just going to move on.

Twist excretes smoked goodness

The aroma of Cicero Beverage Company Candied Bacon Cream Soda is 85% cream soda and 15% bacon.  Honestly it’s not so much bacon as it is “smoked scent”.  I guess I’ll find out if it translates to bacon or “smoked flavor” soon enough.

Guess what, this is a cream soda with a “smoked flavor” added to it.  The actual taste of bacon is missing, but this smoked sensation does create an interesting taste not unlike roasted marshmallows.  Unfortunately, each sip I take steps further away from the campfire and becomes slightly more obnoxious.   

Underneath all of the lies is a slightly above average cream soda that would probably be pretty good on it’s own.  Oh well, at least they tried to be original with their flavor.  I can’t really fault them for that, in fact it makes me happy to see.  

Cicero Beverage Company Candied Bacon Cream Soda isn’t gross by any means, it just doesn’t really deliver on what it promised.  So if you think bacon cream soda would be gross then Cicero Beverage Company Candied Bacon Cream Soda is for you because it tastes nothing like bacon.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Dr. Brown's Original Cream Soda

So I just looked over our database of sodas (588 at the writing of this review) and I’ve never reviewed anything from Dr. Brown.  I see it most everywhere I go, yet I’ve yet to pick up a bottle.  Had I known that I would have picked up their root beer, but I suppose Dr. Brown’s Original Cream Soda will be a fine first taste as well.  I’m sure in that assessment because the bottle clearly says that it’s a “Flavor Favorite for Generations”.  Who am I to turn down a generational flavor favorite?  Heck, the label has the statue of liberty on it.  I’m not really sure how that works into the brand, but I’ll go with it.  Ok, so I had to look it up.  Apparently Dr. Brown’s soda originated in New York.  Amazing how things make sense like that.

Looking at the ingredients I see that this is sweetened with sugar and/or high fructose corn syrup.  I really wish they would just pick one and keep us from guessing, but the bevy of chemical listed afterwards makes me care a little less.

Twist has 14 different doctorates.  12 are legit.

It smells like a rich and creamy cream soda.  Sugary, smooth, and full of sweet smells.  I have a feeling this is going to be an above average cream soda with a powerful taste full of sucrose.

Interesting, the flavor is lighter than I imagined.  Here I was fully ready to be drowning in cream soda syrup and I’m greeting with a well balanced cream soda that doesn’t weigh heavily within my mouth.  It’s not very often a cream soda has a mouth feel like this, so I must credit them for a soda that “feels good” to drink.

The flavor, while not as powerful as I suspected, still shines brightly enough for me to enjoy the typical cream soda taste.  This is helped out by a carbonation level that mostly stays out of the way allowing the flavor to present itself the best it can.  

Ultimately though Dr. Brown’s Original Cream Soda is good.  I personally like a smoother feel in my cream soda, but as I said before I appreciate the variety that this brings to the soda world.  I’d drink this again if offered, but I don’t see myself buying multiples since I could just as easily enjoy an A&W Cream Soda instead.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Jeff's Vanilla Soda

Twist is anything but vanilla.  Still, he's impressed... can't you tell?

The best bottled chocolate soda I’ve ever had was Jeff’s Chocolate Soda.  Imagine the glee on my face when I found Jeff’s Vanilla Soda at my local World Market.  Now reduce that glee about 10% because I prefer chocolate to vanilla.  Jeff’s Vanilla Soda, much like its brethren, is unique in the fact that it’s made with milk.  Ingredients three and four are milk and cream so I’m guessing this is going to be a fairly smooth beverage.  It’s also 97% fat free in case you were worried about that sort of thing.  


Upon opening I’m greeted with the aroma of vanilla extract.  It’s quite the pleasant yet pungent scent that just entices me to consume it immediately.  So I think I’ll do just that.

Son of a gun that’s good.  It’s like carbonated vanilla ice cream that melted in your fridge.  So incredibly rich and creamy, there’s really nothing like it that I’ve found on the market.  Jeff’s Vanilla Soda is a bit thicker than your standard sodas, but this of course is due to the milk and cream used in its creation.  This thickness may be a bit odd for you upon taking your first swig.  You should keep drinking it because in no time you’ll get used to the mouth feel and truly begin to appreciate what you’re drinking.  

The carbonation levels are also lower than what you might expect, but in this case it just enhances the smooth, smooth, deliciousness that is Jeff’s Vanilla Soda.  I do think they could be a little stronger without losing any of the other aspects of the soda.  It would also allow it to feel a little bit lighter while having a fun mouth feel.

If you’re a fan of cream soda this needs to be in your hand right now.  It may be too heavy for you, but you’d be doing yourself a disservice if you didn’t even try it.  Prior to beginning this review I didn’t think there would be any way the vanilla soda would meet the excellence of the chocolate.  I was wrong.  It matches it turn for turn while being a completely different experience.

~A


Begley's and Bill's Cream Soda

Ever wondered what Ed Begley Jr. tasted like?  You’re creepy, stop.  For those who answered the question with a resounding “no” I’ll continue on.  Ed Begley Jr. and man named Bill Sabo created a line of all natural sugar free sodas.  Ok, so I’m pretty sure Bill Sabo did the creating, but Ed Begley’s name is on the bottle as well...unless you go to the website where it’s called Birdie and Bill’s.  I have no idea why, but we’re going to ignore that fact to avoid potential awkwardness (maybe it was a love triangle?! Gasp!).  The first flavor I’ve chosen to review is Cream Soda.  The ingredients tell me that it’s sweetened with SweetenFX which is their proprietary blend of stevia (duh) and Erythritol.  

Faux Fact: E.B.J tastes like Twist.

Now since SweetenFX is strictly a Begley’s and Bills item I’ve never come across it.  The bottle swears to me this soda is “Great Tasting” in both English and French, so who am I to doubt it.  Oh, I’m a guy that hasn’t had a good stevia sweetened “brown” soda.  That’s who I am, so I will doubt it.  Let’s not give me much time to doubt though.  It’s time to dive in.

My nostril pulls sharply at the mouth of the bottle, just barely getting the scent of cream soda.  What I do smell is pleasant.  There is a very strong vanilla presence in terms of aroma which is something I fully expect of any cream soda.  I do hope that this scent translates honestly into a taste.

Alright Ed, or Bill, or Birdie, you’ve got a pretty decent cream soda here.  SweetenFX really does an excellent job of creating a drinking experience that lacks the terrible aftertaste stevia is associated with.  Can I tell this isn’t made with sugar?  Yes, but I don’t care all that much as the chemical taste is minimal to non existent at times.  Instead a rich vanilla taste lingers with each sip.  The carbonation is light, but noticeable enough to contrast the smooth cream soda mouth feel you’d expect.  

What’s most impressive is that cream soda is a known sweet beverage and they replicated it very well.  You pick one up and expect a sugar rush in the taste.  They've managed to mostly duplicate that sensation with no sugar at all.  It was a risky soda to make, but they've pulled it off beautifully.  

So, does Begley’s and Bill’s Cream Soda match up to the big brand cream sodas?  Yes it really does and while the flavor isn’t something I’m going crazy over it’s still a good solid cream soda.  For those who need a sugar free cream soda I want to steer all of you in the direction of this bottle.  For those of us who are fortunate enough to be able to chose between sugar full and sugar free, I still suggest you buy a pack.  Either way I’m looking forward to trying a few other bottles of Begley’s/Birdie’s and Bill’s.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Begley's and Bill's 

Swamp Pop Praline Cream Soda

Well, I’ve saved what I think will be the best Swamp Pop flavor for last.  Swamp Pop Praline Cream Soda sits in front of me complete with a tiny picture of pecans (pronounced puh-konz if you care to be a friend of mine).  I’m curious as to how candy like this cream soda will be.  Will it be extra sweet with a caramel finish?  Will it have a nutty flavor with a hint of cream?  I genuinely haven’t the slightest of clues, so let’s find out shall we?

Twist loves himself some pralines. His original recipe included crickets though.

Judging by the aroma it seems they went the caramel route.  So rich it almost has a texture, a sweet/salty scent flows easily out of the mouth of the bottle and just hangs.  By smell alone I can tell you this is a dessert beverage and I’m guessing a dang fine one. 

Son of a gun.  Chocolate, caramel, cream, coffee, pecan, and a touch of dirty livin’ made this soda.  This is a wonderful combination of all the flavors listed.  Initially the taste starts off smooth and nonchalant, but a caramel coffee sensation rolls across my tongue and does it’s best to prepare me for what’s to come.  Its delightful warning is followed by a somewhat bitter chocolate taste that rushes by with pecans in hand.  Like a streaker running past, you know you saw something, but it all happened so fast you can’t create a very accurate mental picture of the naked person.  The carbonation is fairly light, letting all of the tastes show their stuff. 

Behind all of this is the cream, because after all it is a cream soda.  This cream keeps the flavor consistent throughout its ever changing textures.  You may have noticed that I also included “dirty livin” as a flavor.  By that I just mean you can taste the work, effort, and dirty hands that it took to come up with this one.  I’m not sure I can find a weakness in this soda. 

What’s impressive to me is that with all of those flavors the beverage doesn’t feel heavy.  I’ve finished this bottle and could easily drink more.  Not something I expected after getting a scent of what I was about to drink. 

So it seems I made the right decision leaving Praline Cream Soda for last.  Overall I’m very impressed with the Swamp Pop line up as they give us familiar tastes, but with a Louisiana touch.  If you have the chance, you definitely need to pick up a bottle.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Swamp Pop

thesodajerk_SK08aA02a.png

A “Twist’s Choice” Recipient

Faygo Vanilla Creme

It’s late at night and I want to get a review done before bed, but I don’t want to drink anything that’ll keep me up too late.  So I reach into the fridge and let my hand pick out a beverage for me.  My hand apparently wants to stay up late.  I’ll give you the proper amount of time to make any dirty joke you like.  Done being immature?  Let’s move on.  So my hand picked out the super sugary beverage known as cream soda.  To be more specific it picked out a Faygo Vanilla Crème, which is just Faygo Cream Soda.  Faygo is something that was introduced to me much later in life… meaning this year.  I’m finding out that the classic look of the bottle ramps up my expectations of the soda.  Then after trying said Faygo soda my expectations become grounded and much closer to reality.  Let’s see if Faygo Vanilla Crème can keep my head in the clouds.

A very pungent vanilla aroma lurches out of the crystal clear bottle.  Speaking of clear, this is the clearest cream soda I’ve seen to date.  It looks like a bottle of water which kind of excites me for my soda drinking experience.  Perhaps my memory of Crystal Pepsi is clouding my judgment, but anytime I see a clear beverage that’s not normally clear I freak out a little bit… in a good way.

Crystal Twist was on the market for a hot second, but a law suit was immediately filed.

Wow, that is quite nice.  The extra carbonation surprised me at first, but since it was chased with a very smooth, very vanilla cream soda afterwards the contradicting mouth feels worked well together.  Ooh, I really like this.  My statement about Faygo letting me down does not apply to Faygo Vanilla Crème.  There is a sweetness you’d expect with a cream soda here, but it really pushes the boundary of too sweet.  The only way I dock points for the sweetness of Faygo Vanilla Crème is if it builds on itself in such a way that I can’t stand to drink it anymore.  Honestly though I think the burst of carbonation I experience at the beginning of each sip keeps the sugar from taking my tongue hostage.  Vanilla flavor lingers in all the crevasses of my mouth, but it’s not a negative sensation at all.  It is a little syrupy, but vanilla cream is one of those flavors that’s hard to keep crisp.

I’m about halfway done with the bottle and the flavor hasn’t really built upon itself that much.  This allows me to experience each sip I take much like it was my first.  Sure some of the initial magic is gone, but each sip is a pleasant one.  Well done Faygo, I doff my cap to you.  You’ve made a great cream soda with a sugar sweetener.  Yes the sweetness builds a little, but I think we’ll live.  This will probably get lower than you think it should by reading the review, but all in all it’s just a great cream soda.   Cream sodas have a hard time standing out in front of other sodas because they all taste so very similar to one another.  Don’t get me wrong though, this is one of the better ones, it’s just not a mind blowingly awesome soda.

~A

 

Squamscot Maple Cream

This beverage is not invisible, we're just getting back into the swing of things.  Liquid will be present next time. 

Do you guys even type reviews anymore?  Yes, yes we do, but what we review on our weekly popcast doesn't get written down.  I'll tell you the ranking, but if you need some more details, or at least some white noise to fall asleep to, I'd check out the link below. 

Aaron's Verdict - Buy a Pack

Mike's Verdict - Buy a Bottle

~A

TheSodaJerks.net Popcast Episode 36 - Squamscot Maple Cream

Dry Vanilla Bean Soda

The last time I reviewed a Dry brand soda I wrote the following thoughts.

When I drink Dry Soda I almost feel like my palette isn’t complex enough to fully comprehend it, and then I see them suggest quail as a pairing… and I sigh.  Dry Soda Juniper Berry, and Dry Soda as a whole it seems, is not for someone who thinks they love soda.  Juniper Berry, much like lavender, is so complex it’s intimidating.

You see how confused I was to the intricacies of the flavor?  I’ve passed numerous flavors of Dry in the super market/grocery store/foodery and every time I don’t feel as if I’m ready.  That quote is from a review three years ago.  Three years have passed with me fearing that my pallet was too immature.  My main supplier that is not a company, Dustin, didn’t realize I had this fear… or if he did felt it was time I conquered it.  So sitting in front me is Dry Vanilla Bean Soda.  It’s snazzy looking with it’s clear on clear appearance and simplistically modern logo.  On the back I see that it has four ingredients: purified carbonated water, cane sugar, natural extracts, and phosphoric acid.  I find it amusing that it doesn’t say that the extracts are from; I would hope they’re from vanilla beans or something that would make sense. 

Just for fun, and to psyche myself out, I looked up what I should pair this with.  Apparently roast chicken, summer salads, white fish, fresh fruit, and panna cotta are what is recommended.  I have no idea what panna cotta is, but the internet assures me it’s a dessert of some sort.  Well I don’t have any of those in front of me, but I did have sushi for the first time about 2 hours ago.  That’s good enough, right?

Upon opening the bottle I’m pleased to say that I actually get a hint of delicious vanilla.  It holds a very sweet flavor in its aroma, but I know Dry Sodas are known for their subtlety, so I know this may be some sort of trick.  Let’s find out together, shall we?

Almost instantly the first taste that hits my lips is that of club soda.  My brain panics and starts to have flashbacks of soda review confusion.  Before my brain can begin hyperventilating a new sensation reaches my taste buds.  The cool vanilla bean strides into town, noticed, but not making any noise.  The closer he gets the more I appreciate his being there.  As the drink finds its way to my stomach the cool vanilla bean vanishes as well, only to repeat his calm stroll when I put the bottle back up to my mouth.  Each sip is exactly like the last as Dry Vanilla Bean Soda does not build upon itself.  It’s clean, it’s quick, and it’s quite refreshing.  Perhaps where I went wrong with Dry in the past was trying to enjoy flavors like Lavender and Juniper Berry when I hadn’t even attempted a more normal Vanilla Bean. 

With that said, I’m not thrilled with Dry Vanilla Bean, but at least I feel like I can understand what it’s trying to do.  I don’t really like the initial club soda taste and the kid inside of me yearns for a stronger vanilla flavor.  Dry Vanilla Bean soda makes me want a full on sugary cream soda and that’s not because Dry Vanilla Bean is bad, but because it’s not my preference. 

So here we are at the end of the review.  The score will be exactly the same as the previous two Dry entries, but I feel my fear of understanding this soda has been conquered.  Thank you, Dry.  I’ll take that part of my life back now!

~A

Dry Vanilla Bean Soda580.JPG

Um, don't cry, dry your eye And here comes Twist with a bag of french fries.

Barton Springs Soda Company - Orange Cream Soda

I’m always pleased when my great state produces delicious products and even happier when those products happen to be soda.  Today I’m giving the city of Austin a chance with their Barton Springs Soda Company – Orange Cream Soda.  The label is simple, but nice to look at.  In fact it almost looks like they made it at home.  The color of the soda is a natural looking orange; not to be confused with the ridiculous orange color that sodas like this normally are.  If you end up wanting to make some Barton Springs Orange Soda for yourself at home here’s all you need:  carbonated water, sugar, natural flavors, citric acid, and a bunch of Benzosorbosucra-lates.  Ok, so the last ingredient is really an amalgamation of words listed.  Still, this is from Texas and I’m excited to see what my home has produced.

Even though “Orange Cream Soda” is listed as the flavor, the scent that reaches my nose is that of tangerine sans cream.  I’m really quite curious how creamy this beverage will actually be.  I suppose I could taste it.

Fortunately for all involved in this process the flavor is indeed orange and the creaminess does exist within the same realm of reality.  With my first sip a burst of orange flavor cascades along my tongue, waking up every taste-bud it rushes over.  The citrus taste seems stronger due to the carbonation involved, but is unmistakable nonetheless.  Now the cream that is promised on the label comes late to the game.  After the citrus rush begins to subside an almost artificial creaminess takes its place.  I won’t say that it tastes bad, but there’s something a little off about it.  In fact the beverage seems to weaken a bit with each sip I take.  The sugary sweetness of Barton Springs Orange Cream Soda begins to take over and ruin the party for both the orange flavoring and the cream finish.  The orange flavoring begins to be shoved in a corner behind big brother Sweetness, while the decent job Cream was performing has turned into an over the top mess.  Frighteningly enough, I’m only halfway through with the bottle before the sugar invasion began.  Sadly I’m going to surrender and stop drinking at this point.  Someone with a sweeter tooth than mine might enjoy this, but I’m out.

~A

Barton Springs Orange Cream Soda580.JPG

The fact that the soda is orange and from Austin has Twist suspicious

Hank's Orange Cream Soda

Without looking I can already tell you the last several sodas we’ve reviewed have all been root beer or cream soda based beverages.  I thought about bucking that trend today, but instead of shocking your brains too much I’ll ease out of the root beer/cream soda genre with a tall orange bottle of Hank’s Orange Cream Soda.  This fancy looking bottle contains a liquid that has two things going for it; the first is that it’s sweetened with cane sugar.  Secondly, Hank’s uses orange juice concentrate in the making of their orange cream soda… something I haven’t seen before.  I’m curious if this will be as smooth as other orange cream or “dreamsicle” sodas since actual orange juice is in play here.  Only in time will we find out. 

Either I’m getting weaker or these twist off caps are getting harder to remove.  Yeesh.  Hank’s OCS delivers in the scent department by giving my snout a tremendous amount of both orange and vanilla aroma.  The dogs wrestling behind me can’t even pry my attention away from this beverage.

Forget what that last guy said about this not being a smooth orange cream.  That last guy was crazy, as this is a very smooth soda.  There is an initial burn on the tip of my tongue created by the enclosed fizz, but quickly it disintegrates into a creamy citrus slide.  If someone were to ask me if I thought this had orange juice concentrate in it I’d probably say it didn’t.  The orange flavor doesn’t really attack your throat like it would in juice form.  Instead it appears in front of you wrapped up in just enough vanilla that you have a hard time figuring out if it’s the real thing or not.  The orange vanilla hug that happens in this bottle continues its embrace down my gullet.  The two flavors are inseparable and work in tandem throughout each sip. 

The finish of Hank’s OCS leaves something to be desired as it develops a somewhat “fake” taste near the end that only worsens until you take another swig, starting the experience back over again.  I’m a little weary of my final gulp seeing as I won’t have anything left to reset the taste.  Perhaps I’ll open this extra People Water I have lying around.  All in all Hank’s OCS is a tasty soda with some shortcomings here and there.  Shortcomings included this should still be in your fridge in multiples.

~A

Hanks Orange Cream Soda580.JPG

Twist coined the word "gourmet"

Dad's Cream Soda

With a quick look at the website I see that we reviewed Dad’s Root Beer nearly three years ago from today.  While it didn’t really thrill us that doesn’t mean that their cream soda entry will follow the same fate.  By the way, we’re reviewing Dad’s Cream Soda today.  Dad’s Cream Soda has all the markings of your run of the mill cream soda.  The golden liquid sits within a clear bottle adorned with a “retro” label.  The ingredients are comprised of HFCS, Natural and Artificial flavors, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  So with all that said I’m still hoping for a better than average taste.  Even though the “retro” look is something many cream sodas have it always makes me excited to try it.  Maybe this soda really will taste like it did so many years ago… not that I have any idea what Dad’s Cream Soda used to taste like. 

Dad’s Cream Soda also smells like most any cream soda.  Its rich vanilla tones are unmistakable and create a creamy vision within your imagination of what this might taste like.

Yup, that’s cream soda alright.  Dad’s cream soda delivers on the rich vanilla contract its aroma made with my nose.  The carbonation is light and unobtrusive, allowing for the flavor to be appreciated fully.  Unfortunately, while Dad’s Cream Soda starts off strong the memory your mouth is left with is that of a slightly watery beverage.  Halfway between the initial sip and consumption the flavor dissipates into about half of what you started out with.  It’s not so watery that it becomes terrible, but it’s hard for a soda to be viewed as anything but average when it can’t even keep its flavor throughout.  As you would expect this is a rather sweet beverage, though I would almost consider it to be a failing if a cream soda wasn’t sweet.  Surely there is an exception to this rule, but I’ve yet to find it.  Overall Dad’s Cream Soda is a very average cream soda.  If you like drinking out of glass bottles then pick some up, but if you’re looking for something better than A&W you haven’t found it here.

~A

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Dad's?  More like Sad's... eh.

Moxie Blue Cream

Moxie is the official state soft drink of Maine.  Why Maine is associating itself with a soda that tastes like carbonated tires is beyond me.  Fortunately for those of us who don’t appreciate Moxie for all it is there is another flavor of it available and that’s what I’ll be reviewing today.  Moxie Blue Cream is more than likely a somewhat bubble gum flavored cream soda.  The soda itself is a brilliant blue hue and the trademark man demanding that you “Drink Moxie” is still upon the label.  The ingredients are basically carbonated water, sugar, natural/artificial flavors, and blue.  I think it’s time we found out of those ingredients translate to a tasty soda.

Moxie Blue Cream’s aroma is much smoother than anticipated as it seems they may have gone heavy on the cream.  Hopefully the flavor will compare favorably to the scent, but we all know that my nose often lies to me.  Well maybe not “lies”, perhaps something gets lost in translation (I didn’t really like that movie).

Immediately I know that I prefer Moxie Blue Cream to regular old Moxie.  It’s an unbelievably smooth beverage that’s definitely built to be a cream soda.  The bubble gum flavor I anticipated is there, but on a much smaller scale that I could have predicted.  With my fifth sip in as many sentences I will now proclaim this to be a delicious blue cream soda.  As previously stated, Moxie Blue Cream is smooth… really smooth, close to butterscotch smooth.  I realize this is to be expected in the cream soda genre, but this is an exception.

Carbonation wise the bubbles are mostly staying out of my way.  They’re the background actors in a really good movie.  The scene would look odd without them, but you’re still not going to pay very close attention to what they’re doing.  The mouth feel I’m left with could be considered heavy by some, but on a scale of one to ten I’d place it at about a six.  Fortunately the aftertaste is pleasant as I’m noticing that it lingers for quite a while after each sip.  Other than being the best blue cream soda I’ve had and a really good cream soda in general there is nothing spectacular about Moxie Blue Cream that makes me want to have enough to last through the apocalypse.  You realize that’s why we made this site right?  The whole premise is so that you’ll have a quality selection of sodas in your bomb dungeon that you’re neighbors will be jealous of.  They’ll try to invade your house from miles around challenging the new genetic ant overlords that now walk freely along the surface.  Some rogue group out there will be hunting for Moxie Blue Cream by the pallet and you’ll be safe.  Why?  Because you read TheSodaJerks.net and they told you it was only worth buying a pack.  Oh, by the way…

~A

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Twist is the one that made the label man "Drink Moxie"

Faygo Original Rock & Rye

Fun fact!  Well honestly it’s less fun and more fact.  We have never reviewed a Faygo beverage on the site.  Odd, huh?  So now that my fridge now has a smattering of Faygo products I figured it’d be a good time to try out a flavor that is a complete and total mystery to me, Faygo Original Rock & Rye.  The only “rock” slang I know is either ice or drug related so I’m pretty sure I’m way off on that one.  Rye is somewhat easily identified, but again not something I’ve ever experienced in a beverage.  The ingredient list doesn’t help much in clarifying the flavor either.  With a brief glance I learn that it’s sweetened with cane sugar and after that the ingredients just slide down a slope of chemical nonsense.  I must assume it is chemical nonsense because all they’ve allowed me to read is “artificial flavors”…oh and of course your friend and mine, potassium benzoate. 

Thankfully, beneath the name of the beverage the sentence “artificially flavored cream cola” is a road map for my brain, pointing me in the right direction.  I feel safe in calling this beverage burgundy in color and very appealing to the eye in terms of label art and overall appearance.  It’s a very classy looking bottle albeit simple.  Any wonders I have about the taste are easily ignored when I gaze at the container the soda resides in.  Smell time.

Faygo Original Rock & Rye is easily identified as a cream soda after a quick whiff.  There is also what some might consider a bubble gum aroma also present which turns me of a bit to the soda, but hopefully it won’t translate into the flavor.  It would be such a disappointment if this was just another bubble gum/cream soda.  Taste time.

I’m pleased to report that it’s not your standard bubble gum fare at all.  There is a cola flavor present in the early stages of my sip, but it vanishes quickly and transforms into something more akin to a red cream soda.  Throughout all of this a delightful artificial cherry taste can be enjoyed which will bring up zero similarities to cherry medicine.  It’s very well executed in my opinion. 

Now I’ve listed cola, cream, and cherry as players in this bottle of Faygo Original Rock & Rye, but to call this a cherry cream cola would be an absolute lie.  For one reason or another the flavors feel separated in the bottle which makes for a nice journey.  Dependable, recognizable cola greets you as you start your 2 second hike through your current sip.  He shows you the path you must take and points out the dangers ahead (Fire Tigers and the like).  Just as you’re feeling safe enough to travel on your own the cream gently shows you the exit.  As you approach the exit you look up and realize that cherry has been watching you all along.  You’re a little creeped out with that realization while simultaneously feeling a bit of joy.  The quick fizzing bubbles rush you out the door and you immediately want to see them all again. 

Unfortunately the end of your journey involves the dreaded velvety curtain of syrup that just coats your mouth to the point of wanting glass of water when it’s all said and done.  Faygo Original Rock and Rye isn’t a perfect beverage, but I have to appreciate the trip it takes me on with each sip.

~A

BONUS CONTENT FOR PAID MEMBERS ONLY...wait... we don't have paid members?  Oh well, here's some interesting info from Reader Jim.  Reader Jim, take it away.

Rock and rye pop was invented in Detroit by Anthony Wegener of A Wegener and Son Bottling works in 1885. Faygo did not invent the drink. The pop was reintroduced after the factory closed in the late 1950.s in 1973 in canned form. Under the approval of Mary Wegener the wife of the late Frank Wegener, whom was the son and former president of the company,. He passed in 1973. My family has cans from the Seventies with the label stating "WEGENER'S ORIGINAL 1885 ROCK AND RYE POP"

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Twist will accept rye bread as currency