Soda Reviews

Onli Green Tea Lemongrass Mango

Green tea needs to be in waaaaaay more sodas.  Thankfully today I have one in front of me called Onli Green Tea Lemongrass Mango.  Onli makes lightly flavored sodas that taste the way sparkling water should… of course I’m basing that on one soda.  They are “Sparkling & All Natural”, sugar free (sweetened with Erythritol), and in this case has some Monk Fruit Extract in it.  So that begs the question, how does a 5 calorie soda taste when sugar is removed from the equation?

At least they used Green Tea

That smells like a bag of nickles, I’m no longer excited to drink this.  With a strong whiff I do get some of the mango and green tea aroma, but it’s not powerful enough to sway my worries.

Nope.  Nope.  One more sip.  Nope.  That tastes like a bag of nickels with a little bit of green tea and mango flavor as well.  

Each sip ends with a painful wince because of how bitter the soda is.  The initial taste is lightly sweetened, fruity, and enjoyable.  Sadly, it almost immediately transitions into a metallic taste which then performs a ritual and summons the devil upon your tongue.  The devil then dances a merry jig upon your taste buds (this creates a bitter taste for those down on their lore) and vanishes from your mouth.  

I don’t want to drink this anymore so I’m going to stop and leave nearly three quarters of this soda unconsumed.  I will say that the light mango taste is enjoyable for less than a second… you know, just so I don’t leave this on a bad note.

Verdict - Do Not Buy


I purchased this soda at an HEB Grocery Store

Hippo Size Jumbo Root Beer

Hippo Size has proven to be quite the tasty beverage maker so I figured giving the root beer a try wouldn’t be the worst of ideas.  Jumbo Root Beer is the official name of the soda at hand and it sits in a stout little 12oz bottle.  Sweetened with cane sugar and flavored with artificial and natural goodness it awaits consumption.

With an aroma that makes me think “bite” more than “cream” I’m starting to get a feel for what Jumbo Root Beer will be about.  There is a definite wintergreen scent as well which makes sense as it’s listed within the ingredients.  

I don’t know if I’m right about this, but I’m guessing the mouthfeel will be foamy and fun.

In terms of mouthfeel it’s not foamy or fun, in fact it was kind of boring.  Fortunately the flavor is the primary focus of the beverage although a good mouthfeel get you extra points.

The aforementioned wintergreen plays a rather important part in this play as it’s quite dominate on my palate.  This level of wintergreen might be a bit too much for some, but all in all it works well in the root beer.  If you do end up trying it you might enjoy the rooty flavor that hides behind the wintergreen mask.  It’s strong enough to give the soda a mild personality.

While the flavor is smooth it’s lacking in any sort of cream taste that you might expect in some root beers.  It still goes down easily with little bite, but honestly I want to feel more emotion from this bottle.  Hippo Size Jumbo Root Beer is the equivalent of a polite “hi” that you reserve for people you don’t know, but they work in the same building as you.

Hippo Size Jumbo Root Beer is slightly above average in taste, but overwhelmingly average if not a little lower in many of the other drink arenas.  I’m left kind of empty, unlike the bottle in front of me, after drinking it.  Perhaps I hyped up the Hippo Size name a little too fast.

Verdict - Buy a Bottle


This was purchased at a Shell Gas Station