Nature’s Pure Organic French Vanilla Cola

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They got me.  They got me with their stupid fancy labeling and their tiny glass bottles and their high price.  $6.55 got me four 8oz bottles of Nature’s Pure Organic French Vanilla Cola.  If that’s not the most I’ve paid per ounce it’s really dang close.  Sitting in it’s tiny ornate glass bottle with a purple label slapped on it.  A friendly, yet shy, looking lady wearing a white gown with a purple sash stands off to the side.  I can’t believe the packaging worked on me!  

Twist is in love with the lady on the bottle's flowers

That said this is a 100% All Natural Sparkling Soda and organic as well, per the bottle.  Looking at the ingredient they are correct.  It even has my favorite natural ingredient “Natural Flavors”.  Just say what they are.  If you have nothing to hide don’t hide it.  Sigh.  I should probably open this tiny bottle now.

This smells faintly of vanilla cookies and cola.  I’m not really sure where I’m getting essence of cookie, but if the flavor is strong enough this could be worth the money I paid.  

That’s unusual and pretty dang good to boot.  They seemed to have nailed the French Vanilla aspects of this cola.  It doesn’t have an overly creamy in texture or taste.  Cola is definitely the headliner of this soda.  If you saw this play you’d go home and tell your friends “Yeah, cola was good… just like we thought he would be, but French Vanilla.  French Vanilla is GOING places.  I need to look him up on IMDB and see what else he’s done.”

After I looked up French Vanilla on IMDB and quickly reminded myself that French Stewart was a part of my life at some point, I took another sip.

The play I just watched, those two actors aren’t friends.  They’re battling for the audience’s attention the entire time.  Cola comes out first and you’re happy to see him because he’s familiar.  French Vanilla immediately appears after and from that point on you don’t know where to divert your attention.  The two flavors don’t really play nicely together, but the show is entertaining none the less.  

As an aside, I believe the French Vanilla taste is reminding me a bit of coffee in each drink I take.  It’s causing just the slightest bit of bitterness to it.  Overall an odd sensation although part of me is just fine with it.

All in all I’m happy I took the chance on Nature’s Pure.  It’s a unique take on vanilla cola’s the bottle really is quite pleasant.  The only critique I have is that I wish the taste was a bit more powerful.  I want either the cola or the vanilla to resonate more instead of constantly battling vying for my opinion.

~A

Guayaki Brand Yerba Mate Sparkling Classic Gold

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Introducing the winner of the “Put a Bunch of Words Together to Make a Soda Name” title… Guayki Brand Yerba Mate Sparkling Classic Gold!  With your victory you’ll be taken on a one way trip down someone’s gullet and then who knows what mysteries await you.  

Twist, you can't enter the contest because you work for the company.

On this exciting adventure you’ll be able to take as many friends as you wish.  So don’t be shy, invite all your buddies like sparkling filtered water, cane sugar, organic yerba mate extract, organic natural spice flavor, and everyone's favorite… citric acid.  

Being an all natural fair trade soda you are subject to inspection prior to your departure.  Your spice filled aroma will be quantified and enjoyed by not one, but TWO nostrils.  Once your scent has been inhaled in the least creepy manner possible you will begin your journey.

Take your surprisingly watery flavor past the tongue and teeth.  So many famous foods have come this way before you.  Remember that hotdog from 3 years ago, he once walked these very halls.  Since you have such a small amount of carbonation you should have no issue getting him on the tour as well.  Actually now that we've formally met I’m becoming less likely to take in all of your party.  How about you just peek around the corner because your whole group won’t be partaking anymore.  

Sorry for the mixup, but you see when we look at your party and so very uncreepily smelled you we thought you were someone else.  We thought you’d have a robust flavor as so many other yerba mate beverages do, but instead we got you.  Yes, you… don’t try to hide.  The one with the weak flavor, the diet-esque taste, and the limited amount of spice used.  Wait a second… are you regular Tea and Water stacked on top of each other in a trench coat?  Where did you get this spice?  Did you get this from your parents?!  Now you’re ineligible for sure!

Guards!

~A

This was purchased for me from World Market

Royal Crown Cola (April Fool's Review)

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Believe it or not some folks rate Coke as their favorite big name cola.  Fools, the lot of them.  Their opinions given to them by the big red hype machine.  Then there’s a smaller group that likes Pepsi.  Dude, if you’re going to like Pepsi you might as well join the “winning team” and like Coke.  Finally, there are a select few people that like RC Cola the best.  I am one of those people and not just because of our new sponsorship deal with them.  Sure, there’s a few minute changes made to the site, but they’re hardly noticeable… so you know I’m on the level.

RC Cola.

So under absolutely no contractual obligation at all, I’m here to review Royal Crown, (or as the kids call it, RC), Cola.  First off, this can is amazing.  It’s a dark blue.  Not a weak blue like Pepsi, but a strong, powerful blue like nothing else on earth.  Emblazoned on this dark blue can are the two letters that are synonymous with RC Cola, “RC”.  Not a logo, the letters are the logo.  Pepsi has a ball of color, Coke has a white squiggle they thought needed a copyright.  RC Cola has its’ name.  RC COLA HAS ITS’ NAME.

Did you know that RC Cola was the first major manufacturer to use steel cans… then aluminum cans?  They were.  You know why?  Because they’re innovators.  Anywho, it’s a beautiful can.

Looking at the ingredients, I see they use water.  There’s nothing more important on this earth than water.  Some really high percentage of your body is made of water and RC Cola wants to make sure you have enough of it.  Generous doesn’t even come close.  They’re literal saints.

Opening the can, I smell the scent of cola.  What’d you think it’d be?  It’s the epitome of cola aromas.  I say “cola”, you say “aroma”.  Cola! _____ Cola! _____.  There, now RC has pumped you up and we haven’t even tasted it yet.

Damn.  If you like the bite of Coke and the sweetness of Pepsi, then you should be drinking RC Cola.  RC Cola has both that bite and sweetness, but it’s improved 100%..  I simply don’t understand why more people aren’t drinking it right now.  No foolin’, it’s the only soda I keep on hand at my house under no contractual obligation.  You come to my house lookin’ for a soda, you’re gonna find the stuff I review and then you’re gonna find a bunch of the good stuff, RC.

Think of it this way.  The guy that you trust with your soda reviews.  The guy that would never let you down.  The guy that has reviewed over 500+ sodas...drinks RC Cola.  Why aren’t you drinking it this very second?

The carbonation is ON POINT!  You like the taste of cola?  Well, then you’re gonna love the taste of cola with the perfect amount of bubbles.  

Speaking of aftertastes, RC Cola’s aftertaste is RC Cola.  And when you want it to vanish, it totally does, but why would you ever want that?  

So, what should you pair with your RC Cola?  I ask myself that all the time.  There are two things that pair with an RC Cola.  Thing number one is a moon pie.  If you haven’t had a moon pie and an RC Cola I pity you and will include you in my prayers tonight.  Thing number two that goes with RC Cola (20 oz bottles) are peanuts.  Here’s what you do.  Take a swig of your RC Cola (20 oz bottle) and pour in a sleeve of peanuts.  Now you’re eating peanuts and drinking RC Cola.  Your day cannot possibly get better unless of course you’ve also purchased a moon pie.  I’m pretty sure the elation coursing through your body may cause permanent damage if you do though.

So there you have it, lawyers.  My review of RC Cola which was written under no legal obligation.

~A

I bought this anywhere quality and equality exists.


Boots Beverages Coconut Cream Soda

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So the last time we met up with Boots they made a dewberry soda that I thought would taste a bit better if it were a dewberry cream soda.  Little did I know that their next soda that I would pull would be of the cream soda variety.  You probably think I remember what I put in my fridge, that’s where you’re terribly, terribly wrong.  So today we have a bottle of Coconut Cream Soda and I’ve gotta tell you I’m a little excited.  This sounds like a unique and tasty idea.

Much like the last bottle there’s a face on the bottle identified as “Aunt Katy”, this one looking more spectral than the last.  The story that coincides with Aunt Katy, written on the bottle, is as follows:

“Boots”, Katy’s little brother, rarely paid her as they struggled to keep the family business going.  To make ends meet, Katy doubled as an ice cream wholesaler.  Her nephew Mark loved the dreamsicles so much he ate up all the profits.  No matter.  They always delivered those small pleasures!

So there you have it.  Another look into the story of Boots.  Honestly, up to this point I thought it was called Boots Beverages because it was made in Texas and you know… cowboys and stuff.  I should have punctuated that last sentence better.  The soda wasn’t made in cowboys to my knowledge.  I’m just gonna open the bottle.

Twist is jealous of the sweet blue cap

A light coconut aroma lifts itself out of the bottle and begins to perk up as time passes by.  The scent only adds to my excitement for this beverage.  Coconut cream works so well as a pie, why shouldn’t it as a soda?  For the record I don’t expect this to taste like the pie at all.

Ok, initially I’m getting more cream taste than coconut, but it seems the aftertaste is heavier on the latter.  Each sip takes a similar path thus far.  It tastes like a cream soda right off the bat.  This familiar taste fades into the background as the coconut comes forward to bow to his parents.  Then he stands on the stage a little too long until it gets awkward.  

Yes the aftertaste lingers a bit longer than I’d like, but it has no cares for my likes and dislikes. It just do what an aftertaste do.  I now sit here long after the carbonation has fizzed way, long after I tasted the cream soda, long after I took a sip.  Still it lingers.  This kid is just frozen.  Staring into the audience unable to move.  Sure, we liked his performance, but we’re ready to go home and watch Doctor Who.  GET OFF THE STAGE!  He won’t and I dislike him more and more for it.

~A

This was purchased at an HEB grocery store.

Boots Beverages Dewberry Soda

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I tell people that my favorite dessert is blackberry cobbler with ice cream.  That’s a lie.  My favorite dessert is dewberry cobbler with ice cream.  I say blackberry because most people don’t know what a dewberry is.  They taste very similar to blackberries.  So much so that I probably couldn’t tell the difference if they were baked in a cobbler.  

Twist thought it was Boo Berry Soda. DIBS ON THE IDEA!

The reason I prefer dewberries is a sentimental one.  My family used to pick dewberries on the side of the road on occasion.  It was a very rare occasion, but it occurred at least three times in my life.  I’m pretty sure they were wild dewberries on no one in particular’s land, but we picked them just the same.  

So it made me especially happy to see a dewberry soda and then thrilled me even more to find it was made by Boots Beverages.  I’ve never even heard of Boots Beverages, but they hail from my home state of Texas, Bellville Texas to be exact.  The label is adorned with the face of a kid known as “Mark Kristen”.  There’s a story along with his name that I’ll relay to you now:

“Mark was 5 when sorting returned bottles… barefooted of course.  At 7, he ventured a tad from the family soda business.  He picked dewberries along the Santa Fe tracks and sold them on Hwy 36.  He gave his first $14 profit to Deedie so she could buy a poodle puppy.  Deedie later sold Mark her interest in KDC.  Mark suggests you be real sweet to your mother.”

Well that was fun.  I hope every Boots Beverages has a story.  I also hope these are delicious sodas because I want to like them so very much based on character alone.  They’re sweetened with sugar so it’s already off to a good start.

A powerful aroma easily glides its way out of the mouth of the bottle.  It’s a candy like dewberry scent, so I doubt we’re going for realism here.  That’s fine.  If you can make a delicious soda I don’t really care how you do it.

It’s sweet and a little tart.  The candy scent I took in translated almost exactly as a taste.  It’s very much dewberry with plenty of sugar.  Carbonation wise it holds small amounts of tightly packed bubbles.  They’re fierce when you feel them, but they back off fairly quickly.

I like the flavor quite a bit, but I really wish the tart sting of a dewberry had more of a presence.  That’s what I don’t really understand about raspberry, blackberry, and dewberry flavored drinks.  So often they have the sweet side taken care of, but they rarely hold the bite that keeps me coming back.

This is just fine though.  Perhaps since they removed the tart, like so many upstanding saloons before, they could add some cream.  Dewberry Cream Soda would be pretty dang good.  I’m not drinking that though.  I’m drinking a pretty good dewberry soda that relies a bit too heavily on the sugar.  Still a fun company though.

~A

This soda was purchased at an HEB grocery store.

Maine Root Pumpkin Pie Soda

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I had chips and salsa for dinner.  I’m an adult.  I can eat whatever I want, but I also have to pay a mortgage and taxes and keep a tiny human healthy and safe.  The only reason I didn’t eat donuts for dinner is because I was too lazy to go get donuts.  Isn’t that great!  I was too lazy to eat donuts for dinner so I had chips and salsa instead.  Now I’m going to have a Maine Root Pumpkin Pie Soda as a dessert to my chips and salsa dinner.  Adulthood.

So since this pumpkin pie soda is made by Maine Root you know it’s all natural and of course made with Fair Trade Certified organic cane juice and spices.  Dab the worry sweat off your brown and stick with me now as I open the bottle.

Peter Peter Pumpkin Drinker.

The ol’ sniffer is working better today after a week of antibiotics and Flonase brand Flonase.  When you need to eventually breathe, eventually try Flonase.  I’m not sure what my writing is doing, but I promise you’ll get a review out of this eventually.  

So, this soda does smell a little like pumpkin pie.  I don’t think I’d identify it as such if I didn’t know the flavor though.  It’s a faint smell to begin with and of course that makes me worry about the strength of the taste.  Perhaps I don't’ want a super strong pumpkin pie soda.  I’ve never had one so I guess I’m going to learn something about myself now.  

Tipping the bottle it dispenses three glugs worth of soda.  I bet I could tell this is pumpkin pie.  It’s not overly pumpkin pie tasting, but just enough to get the good parts.  Kind of like a pumpkin pie coverband.  It’ll never replace the original, but if it costs 80% less to go see them you might as well.  Heck I might buy a CD from them.

I’m enjoying the taste of this soda more than I thought I would.  The fizz level is pretty high, adding a bit of a burn with each sip.  The Fair Trade Certified spices taste as you would expect Fair Trade Certified spices to taste… spicy.  Seriously though, the spices do add a nice aftertaste to the beverage.  They keep my tongue guessing which is fun.

All in all it’s a rather sophisticated soda, but not a prima donna.  Not an overly sweet experience, but just enough to call it dessert if you wish.  Pumpkin pie lovers, or dare I even say, Sweet Potato Pie lovers should probably give this a go.  Surprisingly good.

~A

I purchased this at an HEB Grocery Store


Maine Root Mexicane Cola

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Ever have a sinus infection?  I have.  Maybe once a year or so… except this year.  This year is special and I’ve had three thus far.  It’s super neat.  I didn’t want to write a review today because I’m exhausted, but I figured it’d make me feel better if I just powered through it and got to writing.

Twist is taking it back wearing the cap.

The soda I’m going to take my antibiotics with today is Maine Root Mexicane Cola.  As you probably realized from the play on words this is Maine Root’s version of “Mexican Coke”, also known as Coke sweetened with cane sugar.  As with all Maine Root products it’s a fair trade product, so you can rest easy as night that you’ve done the right thing.  Time to open the bottle.

That’s huge.  Sorry, not the aroma or anything, but the pill I’m supposed to take.  It looks like a cartoon pill it’s so big.  It’s a horse pill as my family and many other families out there probably call them.  Well hopefully this Mexicane Cola will be the perfect pair to it.

Even with one good nostril I can tell the cola scent is quite strong.  This would have me believe I’m going to enjoy this beverage.  Aroma’s have lied to me in the past though.  I’m sure the good folks at Maine Root wouldn’t do that to me.  They make Fair Trade Certified beverages.  You can’t lie and do that at the same time.

First swig was pill free and while it does have a nice cola taste it wasn’t as powerful as I expected.  It’s a shame because if this flavor was increased it’d be pretty amazing.   That said, it’s still a very good cola and I won’t take anything away from it by complaining about the strength of the taste again.

Along with this very honest cola flavor a second sweetness appears and sits atop it’s brethren.  The cola is a good foundation to this new sugary taste and the sugary taste seems to be a good foundation to the spices within the beverage.  I do wish I could pick out the spices a bit better  They’re somewhat noticeable and it still tastes good so I’ll keep my complaints to a minimum and just save them for the rating.

All in all Maine Root Mexicane Cola is a very good cola.  It doesn’t have the punch of Coke, but it has an enjoyable taste all its own.  That said, this soda falls into the category of so close to being amazing.  It’s good, but a few tweaks here and there and this could be stellar.

~A

This soda was purchased at HEB

Lucky Club Cola

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Stuff tastes better if there’s a horseshoe on it.  I don’t know why, but it just does.  Perhaps it only tastes better in Texas or the Southwest region of America.  The science on it is unclear yet always wields a positive answer.  That said this bottle of Lucky Club Cola should be delicious according to science.  Emblazoned on the bottle is of course a horseshoe.  Within the bottle is a mixture of ingredients which involve pure cane sugar, some tasty caramel color, and mom’s favorite… gum arabic.  

The mouth of the bottle releases a robust cola scent that urges my mouth to water, but it’s not quite powerful enough to do so.  That said, it seems the aroma will partner with an above average soda at the very least.

Eh, it’s alright.  Perhaps I should stare at the horseshoe a little harder.  No it’s still fairly average even with gunfights and school marms crossing the unknown territory of my imagination.

I wouldn't know your soda from a Jersey Iguana

The first thing I notice is how carbonated this soda is.  Lucky Club Cola is quick to fizz up in your mouth and bites with equal fervor.  It’s a bite that I would associate with a stronger flavor, yet I’m greeted by the first cowboy in the western that succumbs to the villains bullet.  He thought he’d be sneaky and pop up from behind that barrel guns blazing, but then the movie would only be 30 minutes long.  Instead he’s shot in an instant, falling to the ground without so much as a whore to see him die.

Honestly it tastes more like a diet cola than anything.  If it were indeed a diet cola I’d say it was pretty good, but no such luck for Lucky Club Cola.   See what I did there?  So very disappointing.  My disappointment won’t show in the rating because it’s not disgusting.  It’s an average tasting beverage.  Sigh.

So just as quickly as it drifted into our lives Lucky Club Cola is going to drift out of it and be forgotten.  Before I go, let me offer this advice to soda makers.  A soda is a tool, Jerks; no better or no worse than any other tool:  an axe, a shovel or anything.  A soda is as good or bad as the folks making it.  Remember that.

~A

This was purchased at a Shell Gas Station

Minta Strawberry

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So earlier in the week I had a mint soda called Minta.  I was not kind to Minta, but I still wanted to give their strawberry variation a try.  Here are the ingredients to Minta Strawberry:  Carbonated water, natural sugar, natural flavors (gah, vague) citric acid, fruit and vegetable juice for color.  So it’s the same ingredients as before, but now with vegetable juice for color!  I’m sure the “natural flavors” were altered as well because they had to add the strawberry in somewhere.  “Natural flavors”... JUST TELL US WHAT THEY ARE IF YOU’RE SO PROUD OF IT!  

Remember when sodium benzoate was my rant?  “Natural flavors” is the new hotness.  “New hotness” is passe.  Anywho, let’s open this thing up.

So the scent is strawberry mint.  That makes me feel a little better about what I’m about to taste.  I mean it doesn’t smell as minty awful as the original flavor, so it can only be better.  Right?

Twist is crying crocodile tears... due to a transplant.

Slightly!  The powerful mint taste is still there, but thankfully strawberry has wrestled him to the ground.  Well, as much as you could wrestle an 800 pound gorilla to the ground.  Mint is still the dominate flavor, but you can clearly see strawberry hanging on as mint tries to throw him off.  Much to mint’s chagrin, strawberry keeps holding on and you keep getting glimpses of him as he’s twirled about.  

The carbonation levels work pretty well with the taste, but it’s still not enough to sell me on it.  Ultimately the mint flavor ruins the beverage for me.  I expected the strawberry to be light, but I wanted it to have a fighting chance.  To be fair though it’s Minta Strawberry, not Strawberria Mint.  

So here I sit with a half can of Minta Strawberry in front me.  I don’t really want to finish it, but I could if I had too.  Sure it tastes better than Minta, but I’m not sure it tastes so much better the rank will be any higher.  I guess I’m just not cut out to enjoy mint sodas for the time being...unless it was chocolate and mint.

~A

This soda was purchased at Sprouts using donations from readers like YOU!