Joia lists itself as an all-natural soda which is very pleasing to both my eyes and my tongue.  Looking at the ingredient list I’m impressed even further as I see pure cane sugar, real pineapple juice concentrate, and natural flavors of pineapple, coconut, nutmeg, cocoa, etc.  There’s other ingredients that are equally natural that I’m leaving out, but these are the ones that I’ll be tasting so I figured them important enough to mention.  The Joia bottle design is very tranquil and reminds me of something I might be handed on a beach vacationing somewhere.  I’m not big on beach vacations, but I am big on fancy tropical drinks… perhaps I was just given an easy way to induce enjoyment.  I picked Joia Pineapple Coconut & Nutmeg because those three flavors just sound like that need to be together, like they’ve been buddies all along playing behind the school.  Hopefully my initial thoughts won’t lead me astray. 

A delightful aroma containing all three of the listed flavors oozes out of the mouth of the bottle.  It’s not an overpowering aroma, but it certainly isn’t playing around.  I suppose it’s time to follow the directions on the side of the bottle and “Drink Instinct”.

Just as I suspected the flavors act as if they are old chums, each complementing the other.  Pineapple comes in as the base, setting the stage for its friends.  Coconut comes out and tells a light joke to get everyone chuckling and nutmeg works the lights determining the mood of each sip.  If one were to be considered strongest of the three it would have to be pineapple, but nutmeg and coconut aren’t far behind.  The Nutmeg adds a somewhat bitter taste to each sip, but the undertone of sweet pineapple helps me forget it by the end of my swig.  The carbonation level of Joia is a slight, sharp fizz that grazes all parts of my mouth.  It keeps my tongue interested and tells my hand to continue picking up the bottle.  I’m not hugely fond of pineapple sodas so some of my bias may show in the rating, but Joia does a good job with the natural juices and flavors they have on their palette.  While I enjoyed Joia Pineapple, Coconut, and Nutmeg I’m sure it won’t be my favorite of the Joia brand.  I can’t wait to find out what that will be.

Verdict – Buy a Pack

~A

Does Joia sound interesting to you?  Pick it up at ThirstMonger.com  

Twist says "You'll enJOIA it." Then he cried tears of sorrow for such a pun.

My nose has a hard time recognizing the “float” scent that should be coming out of the mouth of the bottle.  Of course this could easily be the result of a high level of grass pollen in the air that occasionally renders my nose useless.  I can smell a rich and sugary root beer flavor with something different in the background.  Hopefully the “ice cream” will arrive once I take a swig.

Well it’s a heck of a lot better than A&W’s version of the same flavor.  The root beer taste is burly and easily experienced, but the vanilla ice cream never shows up to the party… a different visitor must have stolen his invitation.  Roasted marshmallow is the secondary flavor in this soda and he’s quite brash about his presence.  You’d think that someone who was not invited to a shin did would show a bit of cowardice, but not R.M.  He kicked the door open, announced his arrival, spit on the floor, and kissed root beer’s sister.  It’s like he knows he doesn’t belong, but doesn’t care because he’s sure he’ll win you over… and he’s right.  I really did want to try a good root beer float soda, but with every sip of root beer and roasted marshmallow I care less and less that the ice cream taste is absent.  It’s an odd combination on virtual paper that works like gangbusters in my mouth.  Perhaps I should retool that last sentence, better not as then this sentence wouldn’t make any sense. 

Are there faults to Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float?  Well aside from the fact that it doesn’t exactly taste as the label states, yes there are.  The root beer flavor, while good, could be richer, creamier, just better in general for one.  A somewhat syrupy mouth feel is my last impression of the beverage.  I wouldn’t say it’s the velvet curtain I so often describe, but perhaps a sheer curtain used for fog effects.  All in all Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float is something out of the ordinary and I suggest you buy multiples to share.

Verdict – Buy a Pack

~A

Twist is a Rocket Fizz Man, burning up his fuse up here alone.

A very rooty aroma slithers out the top of the bottle.  From scent alone I would guess this will be more about strength of taste and less about being smooth and creamy.  I’ll only unlock this unsolvable riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a bottle, once I drink it. 

Maine Root Root Beer is big on taste, but does not completely give up on being creamy.  Each sip I take has a flavor comparable to a root beer barrel, very sweet and full of delicious.  The carbonation begins as a sharp set of bubbles racing along the tip of my tongue, but by the end of the sip has transformed into a mixture of fizz and clouds.  A wintergreen taste peeks his head around the corner every once in a while, but it seem he’s too scared to really make a scene.  The aftertaste I’m left with is a pleasant one that mirrors the flavor of the beverage and not some terrible facsimile.  There aren’t many people out there wishing for an aftertaste that reminds them of what the soda would taste like through a sock and fortunately with Maine Root Root Beer you won’t know that “pleasure” unless you set that experiment up for yourself.

For all the good that goes into Maine Root products this is my least favorite of the bunch.  It’s still a good root beer that surpasses all the store brands, but other than the great ingredient list there’s nothing that really pushes it past “above average”.  You’ll be pleased you purchased a pack, but I doubt you’ll be hooked on the stuff.

Verdict – Buy a Pack

~A

Twist is actually one of the spices used.

That’s right, I’m about to review a bottle of water, spring water to be more exact.  After a bit of research, I found out that People Water comes from a spring in the Palomar Mountains and not from a tap in your neighbor’s house.  This is a good thing.  People Water is also a very green company in the fact that their plastic bottles are designed to break down faster than a standard plastic bottle.  This is also a good thing.  For every bottle of People Water that is purchased they will give an equal amount of clean water to a person in need.  Yes, that’s another good thing.  At the very least I seem to be dealing with a company that has strong moral convictions, but honestly we’re looking for a clean taste here.  With all that said, I’m still about to review a bottle of water and I’m not quite sure how it’s going to go.

There is no smell.  It’s water.  If there were a smell I’d tell you right away, and probably not even risk drinking this.  To reiterate, there is no smell.

While many might have issue with the taste of City of Houston tap water, I have no problem consuming it en masse.  With that said People Water tastes better than what flows out of my local tap.  I can also tell you that it tastes better than some of the “big name” brands as well.  Could I pick it out in a blind taste test?  No, but I know what “brands” of water I prefer and this tastes better than those I do not prefer.  It’s rather refreshing water as well, but honestly most water is so I’m not sure I can laud it for doing what clean water does. 

All in all, I’m happy the people at People Water are doing what they’re doing.  They really seem to be a group of folks who care about the environment and getting clean water to others.  Sadly none of those factors go into our ratings, but it’s still worth noting.  People Water is bottled water.  If you buy it, buy it knowing that you’re helping out someone and be happy with that.

Verdict – Buy a Bottle

~A

This beverage was supplied to us by ThirstMonger.com; if you want to give it a try then just click.

Twist wanted to try some, but I reminded him that the bottle clearly states that it's People Water. It was at this point he reminded me he was a person some 500 years ago.

Dad’s Cream Soda also smells like most any cream soda.  Its rich vanilla tones are unmistakable and create a creamy vision within your imagination of what this might taste like.

Yup, that’s cream soda alright.  Dad’s cream soda delivers on the rich vanilla contract its aroma made with my nose.  The carbonation is light and unobtrusive, allowing for the flavor to be appreciated fully.  Unfortunately, while Dad’s Cream Soda starts off strong the memory your mouth is left with is that of a slightly watery beverage.  Halfway between the initial sip and consumption the flavor dissipates into about half of what you started out with.  It’s not so watery that it becomes terrible, but it’s hard for a soda to be viewed as anything but average when it can’t even keep its flavor throughout.  As you would expect this is a rather sweet beverage, though I would almost consider it to be a failing if a cream soda wasn’t sweet.  Surely there is an exception to this rule, but I’ve yet to find it.  Overall Dad’s Cream Soda is a very average cream soda.  If you like drinking out of glass bottles then pick some up, but if you’re looking for something better than A&W you haven’t found it here.

Verdict – Buy a Bottle

~A

Dad's? More like Sad's... eh.

A medium to mild root beer aroma escapes the mouth of the bottle.  Wintergreen is the first actor on the stage, but I can see the others peering from behind the curtain with vanilla looking particularly eager. 

Sea Dog Root Beer isn’t nearly as creamy as I thought it would be.  It has more bite (dog jokes avoided) than what you might find in your standard root beer.  The wintergreen is noticeable, as is normal when used in root beer, but does not overpower the taste to the point of disappointment.  I’m not finding the overall experience of Sea Dog to be as pleasant as I had hoped.  It’s not revolting by any means, but the way it sits on my tongue is almost crass.  The carbonation experience isn’t worth more than this sentence as it adds little to the root beer. It’s unapologetic in its lack of smoothness.  Much like the whining dog downstairs (who thankfully has fallen asleep) Sea Dog shows you that it knows how to do the tricks, but refuses to bow to your whim.  While I can appreciate a root beer with some spark I keep getting a taste in my mouth that reminds me of diet root beer and I know that’s not the case.  I’m not sure if it’s the anise giving off that dubious flavor, but this taste coupled with the fact that two of my friends just gave up on Doctor Who without even finishing the first episode have soured me from recommending that you buy Sea Dog Root Beer in multiples.  Ok, so the Doctor Who thing is an unrelated rant, but c’mon they’re missing out on so many great adventures.  Sea Dog Root Beer on the other hand has an above average ingredient list, yet only has an average taste.

Verdict – Buy a Bottle

~A

Yo ho ho and a bottle of something else.

Moxie Blue Cream’s aroma is much smoother than anticipated as it seems they may have gone heavy on the cream.  Hopefully the flavor will compare favorably to the scent, but we all know that my nose often lies to me.  Well maybe not “lies”, perhaps something gets lost in translation (I didn’t really like that movie).

Immediately I know that I prefer Moxie Blue Cream to regular old Moxie.  It’s an unbelievably smooth beverage that’s definitely built to be a cream soda.  The bubble gum flavor I anticipated is there, but on a much smaller scale that I could have predicted.  With my fifth sip in as many sentences I will now proclaim this to be a delicious blue cream soda.  As previously stated, Moxie Blue Cream is smooth… really smooth, close to butterscotch smooth.  I realize this is to be expected in the cream soda genre, but this is an exception.

Carbonation wise the bubbles are mostly staying out of my way.  They’re the background actors in a really good movie.  The scene would look odd without them, but you’re still not going to pay very close attention to what they’re doing.  The mouth feel I’m left with could be considered heavy by some, but on a scale of one to ten I’d place it at about a six.  Fortunately the aftertaste is pleasant as I’m noticing that it lingers for quite a while after each sip.  Other than being the best blue cream soda I’ve had and a really good cream soda in general there is nothing spectacular about Moxie Blue Cream that makes me want to have enough to last through the apocalypse.  You realize that’s why we made this site right?  The whole premise is so that you’ll have a quality selection of sodas in your bomb dungeon that you’re neighbors will be jealous of.  They’ll try to invade your house from miles around challenging the new genetic ant overlords that now walk freely along the surface.  Some rogue group out there will be hunting for Moxie Blue Cream by the pallet and you’ll be safe.  Why?  Because you read TheSodaJerks.net and they told you it was only worth buying a pack.  Oh, by the way…

Verdict – Buy a Pack

~A

Twist is the one that made the label man "Drink Moxie"

Fentimans Victorian Lemonade is fermented botanical lemon drink with ginger and herbal extracts… or so it says on the bottle.  It’s sweetened with cane sugar and the remainder of the ingredients listed are of equal quality.  Having reviewed Fentimans beverages before, I’ve come to expect a high quality soda.  I may not always agree with the flavor they present, but I only have respect for their process.  Now I shall doff the cap atop the bottle and begin my journey.

Oh, how I enjoy the dog printed on each bottle cap.  I’d love a Fentimans shirt with his picture on it.  That wasn’t a call for free merchandise, more like an out loud wish list.  Now that I’ve upended the bottle per the directions I place my good nostril (we all have one) near the opening.    While lemon is the first scent I recognize the ginger immediately makes it known that it will be a force to be reckoned with.  Here’s to great carbonated lemonade!

Fentimans Victorian Lemonade is liquid sour and I love it.  The real lemon juice used is unmistakable as it washes across the interior of my mouth.  As it visits each location (teeth, tongue, roof, etc) it lightly punishes them all with a burst of tart.  The ginger follows up said burst with a mild burn.  This burn isn’t quite as strong as I imagined it would be, but it’s still noticeable enough to be enjoyed.  The fermentation is very noticeable and may be a bit off putting to some.  Early in my journey as a soda reviewer I can tell you that I would have docked points for the flavor a fermented fruit brings to the table.  Now I can appreciate the taste of a somewhat fermented soda (it’s nonalcoholic by the way) and see that in some cases it really adds to the experience.  In this case the fermentation just allows Fentimans to differ even more from your standard lemon fare. 

Surprisingly, this lemonade is rather heavy in terms of mouth feel.  The juice and herbs used really weigh down the soda, but I’m not sure there’s any way around that issue without altering the flavor.  Sadly this heavy texture doesn’t allow the beverage to be all that refreshing.  Fortunately the carbonation is at just the right level to keep it from being completely stale in terms of thirst quenching.   

If you’re looking for a sugary lemon drink that your kids will love, this isn’t it.  Now, if you’re looking for a pleasantly complex lemonade that will sit with you for a while, you’ve found it.

Verdict – Buy a Pack

~A

Twist helped Queen Victoria found Torchwood

Thankfully, beneath the name of the beverage the sentence “artificially flavored cream cola” is a road map for my brain, pointing me in the right direction.  I feel safe in calling this beverage burgundy in color and very appealing to the eye in terms of label art and overall appearance.  It’s a very classy looking bottle albeit simple.  Any wonders I have about the taste are easily ignored when I gaze at the container the soda resides in.  Smell time.

Faygo Original Rock & Rye is easily identified as a cream soda after a quick whiff.  There is also what some might consider a bubble gum aroma also present which turns me of a bit to the soda, but hopefully it won’t translate into the flavor.  It would be such a disappointment if this was just another bubble gum/cream soda.  Taste time.

I’m pleased to report that it’s not your standard bubble gum fare at all.  There is a cola flavor present in the early stages of my sip, but it vanishes quickly and transforms into something more akin to a red cream soda.  Throughout all of this a delightful artificial cherry taste can be enjoyed which will bring up zero similarities to cherry medicine.  It’s very well executed in my opinion. 

Now I’ve listed cola, cream, and cherry as players in this bottle of Faygo Original Rock & Rye, but to call this a cherry cream cola would be an absolute lie.  For one reason or another the flavors feel separated in the bottle which makes for a nice journey.  Dependable, recognizable cola greets you as you start your 2 second hike through your current sip.  He shows you the path you must take and points out the dangers ahead (Fire Tigers and the like).  Just as you’re feeling safe enough to travel on your own the cream gently shows you the exit.  As you approach the exit you look up and realize that cherry has been watching you all along.  You’re a little creeped out with that realization while simultaneously feeling a bit of joy.  The quick fizzing bubbles rush you out the door and you immediately want to see them all again. 

Unfortunately the end of your journey involves the dreaded velvety curtain of syrup that just coats your mouth to the point of wanting glass of water when it’s all said and done.  Faygo Original Rock and Rye isn’t a perfect beverage, but I have to appreciate the trip it takes me on with each sip.

Verdict – Buy a Pack

~A

Twist will accept rye bread as currency

The aroma is faint, but the scent of cherries and cream can be distinguished with a strong huff of the bottle.  Since you all know that I’m a little lad who loves cherries and cream I won’t waste your time talking about it anymore.  Taste time.

Ok, so maybe it wasn’t cherries I smelled.  The slight vanilla taste is definitely present though, making this soda wonderfully smooth.  Best I can tell, Hank’s Premium Highland Berry Soda is a combination of cranberry, strawberry, raspberry, and I guess there’s some cherry in there… but then again my mind could be playing tricks on me.  The way these flavors are grouped together is quite delicate.  Normally there is a player on center stage hamming it up as the rest of the flavors sit as trees in the background.  Don’t worry about them though.  Their parents are still in the audience filming every last second of their tree-dom.  In the case of Hank’s Premium Highland Berry Soda all roles are equally important, even that of the cream.  This equal amount of stage time really makes me think about the individual flavors I could potentially be tasting.  Virtual high-fives to the folks at Hank’s for creating this balanced eco-system of flavor goodness.  The carbonation levels don’t even intrude on the flavor math that has obviously been done.  Light, fizzy, and borderline fun, the bubbles just serve as a wakeup call to the interior my mouth before the actual flavor steps into the room. 

For all that this soda does well it’s not perfect.  The use of HFCS weighs down the end result of each sip I enjoy.  The mouth feel isn’t the heaviest I’ve felt, but it does detract from an enjoyable experience.  On an individual level I’m also not going to gush on and on about the flavors of the berries used in this bottle.  Each berry flavor comes off as somewhat generic to me.  The quality of the ingredients could be improved and with that I think an amazing soda would emerge.  Even though I have some complaints I would still recommend purchasing this soda.  Are there problems with it?  Yes, but the taste is still wonderfully complex without needing an “educated” palate to see all that it has to offer.

Verdict – Buy a Pack

~A

On Earth 2 Twist is from the Highlands of Scotland