Old Tyme Kola

Ok, I’ll admit that when I see a business called “Shoppe” I find it quaint.  Now if that same “Shoppe” were to be called “Ye Olde Shoppe” that’s a bit of overkill on kitchy spelling.  Old Tyme Kola has that problem.  Yes, I’m aware of the kola nut, but c’mon… I’m about to drink a cola, not a “kola”.

The pirate on the label looks like a dude cos-playing a pirate.

That aside, looking at the ingredients there is nothing “Old Tyme” about this other than the oldest of ingredients, water.  The rest is caramel coloring, HFCS, and etcetera etcetera.  Of course that doesn’t mean that Old Tyme Kola will be bad; I’m just giving you an idea of what’s inside this bottle brandished with a pirate.

The cola… sorry… kola aroma that escapes the bottle is RC Cola-esque.  This is a positive for me as avid readers of the site know that RC is my favorite mainstream cola.  Even the label is primarily blue, secondarily red, and tertiarily white, like RC.  Hmmmmmm, I didn’t know that tertiarily was a word until I tried it out.

Well it doesn’t taste quite like RC, but it’s still a decent cola overall.  Even though I immediately praised it the first thing I’m going to delve into further is a criticism.  Old Tyme Kola makes my teeth grate together easily.  It’s so syrupy that my teeth grab each other without much effort and grind accidentally.  This is not a fun feeling and makes me wish I had a glass of water nearby.

Teeth gritting aside the kola flavor is fair, but could be considered a little watery.  The cola “bite” is not quite at the mainstream level, but isn’t as toothless as the dollar store brands either.  Carbonation wise it’s a small amount of tiny bubbles which gives a slight burning fizz that dissipates rapidly.  

To save words written and words read; Old Tyme Kola is an average cola that’s worth picking up once if you find it in a gas station on a road trip.

Verdict - Buy a Bottle


This soda was supplied to me by Wrastlin’ Jakito