Super Donkey Kick (Fan Review!)

A trip out of town brought me to a surprisingly clean and customer friendly gas station.  The gas was cheap and the beverage cooler expansive, a winning combination in my book.  So I perused the chilled concoctions bypassing the fermented fare, where I then found myself resting in the soda section.  The usual suspects presented themselves, with one notable exception, Super Donkey Kick.  Yes that’s right an energy drink that not only is strong like a donkey, but is “super” as well.  I decided that this stuff is a must buy, so I drop coin and carted this drink back to the budget motel.

Back at the temporary abode I scan the label to see just what Super Donkey Kick is all about.  The label has a donkey dressed in a martial arts uniform executing a rather stout roundhouse.  I immediately wonder why this donkey kicks instead of punches.  Important question to ponder indeed, but the ingredients list called so I moved on.  The usual stuff contained in an energy drink present themselves like HFCS, preservatives, and vitamin B complexes. So this Donkey Kick stuff is not very exciting so far in my opinion. I then do what any sane person would do a cheap run down hotel with a new drink; I walk around the parking lot and consume my new found can. 

So the top is off and I notice the color of the fluid contain therein.  It is a mixture of yellow and green and most resembles the color of the old school favorite Mello Yellow.  I really don’t like the color or the bubble gum smell the beverage emits either.  But I have a review to do.  So I take a sip, it tastes like stale bubble gum mixed with an ambiguous metallic citrus flavor.  Yeah it’s not good.  So I continue my trek dodging empty Thunderbird bottles and stop to talk to the maintenance guy to help with a room issue, hopefully my next sip will be better.  No it is not.  So I continue my walk to the run down Mexican restaurant next door hoping that my Donkey Kick experience will improve, but it does not.  The carbonation stays constant as does the mediocre taste.  An after taste that doesn’t seem to lighten lingers in my mouth like last night’s chili, much to my chagrin.  I do have a little more energy, but that might be because I know I’m about to eat dinner which will hopefully vanquish the gross aftertaste.  Sorry Super Donkey Kick, I’m kicking you to the curb. 

Final review:  Do not buy!  Bad taste combined with a funny name and label is still bad taste. 

C.W.

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