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Tuesday
Jun142011

Venom Energy Black Mamba (Fan Review!)

Venom Energy Drink has a corny label, which displays a snake peering out at the world and the word Venom with blood dripping off of the first letter. Lame and borderline creepy.  This drink reminds me of the Don Henley song that proclaims "crap is king."  As a loyal member of the Carbo-nation I decide to review a flavor of this stuff that I haven't tried yet, Black Mamba.  Apparently this flavor is special because the back of the label states, and I transcribe verbatim: "When you want to stay razor sharp and are ready to take on the world, you need the venom of Black Mamba."  Folks the tally of things wrong with that statement is numerous.  I will leave it at that and get on with the review.

I twist off the cap, knowing full well that I am in for an unfortunate experience.  Cheap cherry smell clogs my nostrils, leaving little room for much needed fresh air.  So I take a swig.  The taste that follows can only be described as vulgar.  This drink is supposed to be cherry flavor as best I can gather.  In actuality it tastes like a generic variety of over the counter anti-diarrhea syrup that is past its sell-by date.  I take another swig which produces the same result.  Two sips is all it took here, and I don't feel bad about that.  The real tragedy here is that I can’t take back the fact that I drank this stuff. 

Final review:  Buyer Beware!  I can't tell you not to buy this stuff, what I can tell you is that I will stay as far away from Venom Black Mamba as I do actual poisonous snakes.

CW

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