Energy drinks are a dime a dozen these days. One could easily say that the beverage market is over-saturated with drinks claiming to revitalize the body and help boost performance. So having said that, I noticed a beverage doing the only thing left for energy drinks brands to do, package their product in a way that communicates uniqueness. That drink is Monster Energy Drink Assault.
Cheesy and lame is the only way I can describe the labeling. A black and gray pixelated camouflage can with red lettering inform me of what is in store. Plus, a long list of ingredients greets my eye as I scan the label. In addition, what seems to be an all too common admonition instructs me to stay away if I am pregnant, a child, or sensitive to caffeine. Located on the back of the Can is a meandering treatise extolling the virtue of declaring war on the ordinary by grabbing a Monster Energy Drink Assault. The label also explains that Monster is neither for nor against armed conflict, it just wants to fight the large multi-national companies that dominate the beverage industry. I then am instructed to "Viva La Revolution!" At this point I feel a tinge of disappointment that I have actually contributed a small amount of money to this Monster, but as a loyal citizen of the CarboNation I weather through to complete the review.
What comes next is a mere formality. I pop the top and smell an overpowering combination of bubble gum and cheap red flavored Kool-Aid waft through the air. (Yes folks red is in fact a real flavor of Kool-Aid.) The experience went downhill from there, fast. The taste is a cross between stale cherry and horrible sweetness. The after-taste resembles something one might experience after drinking a generic brand of cough syrup bought from a shady drug store. I perhaps have drank about ten sips, and that is nine too many. THIS STUFF IS HORRIBLE, and yes the caps lock was intentional.
Final review: Buyer beware! Folks I can't tell you not to buy this product, just remember this stuff is nothing but chilled suck sauce, and I don't mean that in a good way.