Oh hi, didn’t see you there! This is Aaron… you know, the Soda Jerk. Today I have the great fortune of drinking a soda from our old buddies at Old 52. They aren’t called Old 52 because they’re our old buddies; life is just funny like that sometimes. Any-doodle, Old 52 has sent us this delicious bottle of Rocket Fizz Green Apple Soda! Mmmm MMMM! Being our old buddies, Old 52 knows how much I love green apple soda, especially when it's sweetened with cane sugar. This is apparently some sort of Mexican green apple soda because it has some sort of funny word after the flavor “Green Apple”. The funny word printed on the bottle is Jalapeno. Have you ever heard of anything so crazy? I haven’t. Crazy! Any-scoot, I took German in High School like the good little Texan I am, so you and I can experience this crazy ride called Rocket Fizz Green Apple Jalapeno (tee hee, it still makes me giggle) together. Bottoms up!
Yowza! That certainly smells like our old friend Green Apple! It’s like picking a green apple off the tree and slicing it open like a red delicious apple. Something spooky is going on here though. Every time I smell it the inside of my nose parts feel a little burning sensation. Ah well, that must be the fresh mountain air that was used to grow these delicious green creatures. Time for drinkin!
What the French, toast! It seems our “old friends” at Old 52 have pulled the wool over our eyes! Rocket Fizz Green Apple Jalapeno does have the delicious, delicious taste of fresh grown green apples, but after that it goes straight to heck… literally! After I felt my thirst was quenched the back of my throat burst into flames causing enough pain to really cheese me off! I guess this is what Jalapeno means in Spanish… trick soda! As much as it hurts me I still go back to it so that I might enjoy the green apple flavoring they nailed down so well you’d swear it was glued. RASPBERRIES, THAT STINGS! Each flipping sip is followed up by the fires of Mordor, and just when I think I’m getting used to it the flames flare up once again making me regret my last decision. I thought that the carbonation bubbles were also my old friends, but they don’t seem be on my side either. The bubbles just kind of add more sizzle to the flame. Is no one on my side? Oh yeah, the green apple is! One second while I go use the internet then double check my information on the encyclopedia, one can never be too safe, on what a Jalapeno is.
Well shoot me in the face with a sling shot of mud. Did you know a Jalapeno is a pepper? Now that I think about it every time they talked about them in the show Gargoyles they were in a rather “spicy” situation. It just goes to show you that you can never doubt Goliath. With that said who would ruin a perfectly good soda with a pepper… especially when you can’t even taste the pepper itself, just the heat. I think if I were to make this soda again I’d probably add more jalapeno flavoring to it and not worry so much about the burn factor, but what do I know… I’m just a bear.
Verdict – Buy a Bottle… for the sake of our old friend green apple
Do you not trust bears? Do you think it'd be awesome to combine fire and apples? Do you just wish for normalcy at a time like this? If so pick up a bottle of Rocket Fizz Green Apple Jalapeno at Old52.com
You'll never find something more fiery than Twist.