Soda Reviews

Lean (Fan Review!)

  Working the overnight shift has few advantages.  A less traffic addled commute to work is one. Another is that there is ample time in the morning to accomplish household chores with a dimension of ease typically not available to those working a more normal shift.  So on a sunny morning during post-shift down-time, I arrived at a rarely visited gas station en route to my last stop for the day.  As I described my petroleum needs to the attendant, I noticed a tall purple and silver can on the counter beckoning me like a lighthouse.  I looked closer and noticed that before me stood an as yet unrevealed Sodajerks.net worthy beverage. With newly purchased drink in hand, and enough fuel to power me home, I traversed the short distance to initiate the review process. 

  "Lean, Slow Motion...Potion" is the name of today's lightly carbonated and chilled beverage. A message on the back of the aforementioned can explained that a "Licensed Registered Pharmacist" concocted Lean, and that it will help me achieve a desired level of "swagga" both day and night.  Folks, I'll admit, I have a conspicuous lack of "swagga," so maybe this will be an edifying experience for me.  Also, I noticed a logo for a famous hip-hop music label's website on the back of the can, very interesting. Rappers drink this, and I may achieve some "swagga," potentially amazing deal!

  So the first sip of this alleged confidence producing brew tasted much like a grape kool-aid knock-off one might find at a discount grocer notorious for its health code violations. I do taste elements present other than the life depleting "grape" flavor that dominates this beverage, but honestly I don't know what they are, and I don't think I want to know.  I have taken a few more gulps, and the horrid grape taste chugs along like the cross town express.  I do feel somewhat more relaxed, but this could be due to the fact that it is close to my bed time, and I spent very little time in the land of nod yesterday.  I have no added "swagga," and I can't help feeling that I spent more time and money than I should have on mostly hype and very little substance.  This is an empty feeling indeed my friends.  A few minutes after finishing this drink the after taste lingers in my mouth like an unwanted guest, which forces me to chase this dog with something I actually enjoy.

Rating: Buyer beware. Ladies and gentlemen, I cant tell you not to buy a bottle of this.  But rest assured that I will be leaning toward a mainstream beverage on my next visit to the local petro depot.

~Chaz

Lean460.jpg

If you look carefully you can tell that the drink itself is actually leaning.