Fluids Soda Co. Radiant Red

/

Wanna play guess the flavor?  In front of me I have a bottle of red soda with a red bottle cap.  The brand is one I’ve never heard of; it’s called Fluids Soda Co.  Now the listed flavor is Radiant Red so you’d assume what “Radiant Red” would taste like should be somewhere on the label… nope.  Instead of a picture of cherries, strawberries, watermelon, or blood orange I get a picture of a transmission sitting in front of some checkered flags.  

"Twist" "hates" "it"

The label makes sure I know that it’s sweetened with “Pure Cane Sugar”, but as far as I know this is a transmission flavored soda that’s “Made in the USA”.  Perhaps it’s a generic “Red” soda.  Perhaps I’ll use “quotes” nine or “ten” more times while writing this review.  Either way I’m tired of this mystery.  Let’s see if my taste buds can become taste “detectives”.

Well the scent doesn’t help me at all.  I guess it’s cherry or strawberry… I think… possibly.  It’s such a faint aroma I honestly can’t tell.  Methinks the taste might not be as vague.

What in the world is this?  Ever find yourself melting down cherry cough drops and then adding equal parts carbonated water?  You do?  Well fantastic, you don’t have to do that anymore because Fluids Radiant Red exists on the market.

I don’t know if this is the worst “fruit” soda I’ve ever had, but the thought has crossed my mind enough that it needed to be typed.  Really the only redeeming value it has is that I’m not gagging on it and the carbonation levels are nice.  Other than that I’d stay far away from this.

So there you have it.  Fluids Soda Co. Radiant Red is terrible and I’m going to stop drinking it now.

~A

I bought this at a Shell Gas Station in Houston

Bundaberg Lemon Lime & Bitters

/

Wow, my posting schedule isn’t very consistent at the moment is it?  Perhaps I need some bitters to get me back to being healthy in my writing.  Thankfully I used the term “bitters” to seamlessly transition to the name of the soda I’m reviewing today.  Bundaberg Lemon Lime & Bitters is what’s in the fancy green bottle in front of me and I’m looking forward to kicking off (13 days late) 2015 with this review.  

Twist is bitter about bitters

Bundaberge Lemon Lime Bitters is a collection of cane sugar, spices, lemon juice, lime juice, and a few other ingredients not excluding some bitters.  In fact the front of the label says it’s made with aromatic bitters...which we all know are the best kind for soda.  Of course, we know that.  Now we should all nod knowingly at one another to confirm that we know that.  After a quick pause in this knowledge we’ll continue the review.

So, scary thing.  When I opened this bottle it didn’t fizz at all yet the first ingredient is carbonated water.  The aroma that flows out is that of lemon lime with a definite backer of unidentified spices.  I’d be excited to move forward with this review, but part of me thinks the soda is flat and I’m not sure I want my first review of 2015 to be a dud.  Sigh, oh well.

Good news everyone, this soda isn’t flat.  It’s a very small, neat fizz, but it’s definitely there.  The carbonation seems to add just enough texture that each sip is fun to experience.  Thankfully the lemon lime flavor is present as well.  That last sentence understated the lemon lime flavor quite a bit so let me try again.

I’ve had a lot of sodas and lemon lime is usually one of the more boring ones to review.  Bundaberg Lemon Lime & Bitters doesn’t fall into the boring category as it is a top 3 all time lemon lime soda.  It’s incredibly easy to discern the lemon flavor from the lime.  Normally when these two brothers are together people just assume they’re conjoined twins and call them lymon.  Not in this bottle they aren’t.

Lemon and Lime each have their own distinct flavor and it harmonizes well.  Each burst of citrus I’ve consumed is wrapped up in the bitters that Bundaberg has added.  Of course this does make the drink lean toward bitter a tad, but the 40g of sugar offset that quite nicely.  Instead of focusing on the bitter aspect of it I find myself trying to pick out all the spices used in the creation of this soda.

The spice aspect is something I haven’t experienced with a lemon lime soda before.  Well, perhaps I have but I just can’t remember it at the moment.  Either way it adds another level to an already good soda.  You have lemon, lime, and then a full cast of supporting characters that make the play even better.  Sure if only one of them were on stage you’d question the director, but the way they work together is wonderful.

The only weakness I can identify is the way it feels after I take a sip.  I would think a beverage like this would have a drier mouth feel, but it’s not.  Instead each sip ends with a bit of a syrupy feel (not too heavy though) that scuffs the overall experience.

With all that said, Bundaberg Lemon Lime & Bitters is a fantastic soda that I would recommend anyone try.  For those that like lemon lime, or fancy sodas, or spiced sodas, or citrus sodas in general… this one is for you.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Quinabeer

/

George Prince flexes his impressive biceps on a can of Quinabeer.  I don’t know who George Prince is though.  My brief search led me to more picture of the young Prince George than I cared to look at.  Quinabeer is made by Cawy and other than having a “body builder” on it’s label it resides in a red can.  Now Coca Cola has done a pretty fantastic job of making me associate red and white cans with Coke, so I immediately assume that Quinabeer is a sort of cola.  It probably isn’t, but that’s what 32 years of marketing has done to my brain.  Let’s find out what it really tastes like, together.  Except for those of you who already know.  You be quiet.

George Prince once claimed a victory over Twist. Perhaps this is why you've never heard of him.

Well this smells like orange soda.  I no longer have any clue regarding Quinabeer.  The scent did make me salivate though, so good on them.

If Big Red had orange flavoring it would taste like this.  A coupling of orange and bubble gum, Quinabeer is truly unlike anything I’ve tried to date and that’s getting harder and harder to do.   Both of these flavors have equal billing in the program and neither outshines the other.  This balance is met with a rather raucous carbonation that sizzles at the end of each sip.  I’m usually not a fan of bubble gum flavored sodas, but the citrus cuts into it enough that I can forgive it.

Now for the bad.  Quinabeer leaves a very syrupy feel in my mouth.  Its flavor just kind of hangs about like a kid who graduated still lurking around his high school.  Sure, maybe he was a great guy when he was a senior, but now it’s just kind of creepy and you wish he’d go away.

Creepy guy aside, Quinabeer does have a combination like I’ve never seen but the flavors involved are just alright.  I’m not going to tell my friends that I tried Quinabeer.  Don’t get me wrong, I consider all of you my friends… but you understand… right?  The fact that the entire time I typed this paragraph my mouth was occupied by the syrupy ghost of George Prince has me questioning my initial ranking.  Ah well, better luck next time.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market


Cicero Beverage Company Candied Bacon Cream Soda

/

Wow, I need to clean off my desk.  I just checked to see if I’d reviewed Cicero Beverage Company Candied Bacon Cream Soda before, obviously I haven’t, and the search came up with my review of Cicero Beverage Company Salted Caramel Root Beer.  Then I looked to my right and saw the half empty bottle of Cicero Beverage Company Salted Caramel Root Beer.  To reiterate, I need to clean off my desk.

So as you may have guessed today’s review is of Cicero Beverage Company Candied Bacon Cream Soda and at no point am I going to shorten the name for ease.  No, Carbonation, I’m going to type it out every time to emphasize how ridiculous it is.  By the way this is sweetened with cane sugar and contains both natural and artificial flavors.  With that said, I’m just going to move on.

Twist excretes smoked goodness

The aroma of Cicero Beverage Company Candied Bacon Cream Soda is 85% cream soda and 15% bacon.  Honestly it’s not so much bacon as it is “smoked scent”.  I guess I’ll find out if it translates to bacon or “smoked flavor” soon enough.

Guess what, this is a cream soda with a “smoked flavor” added to it.  The actual taste of bacon is missing, but this smoked sensation does create an interesting taste not unlike roasted marshmallows.  Unfortunately, each sip I take steps further away from the campfire and becomes slightly more obnoxious.   

Underneath all of the lies is a slightly above average cream soda that would probably be pretty good on it’s own.  Oh well, at least they tried to be original with their flavor.  I can’t really fault them for that, in fact it makes me happy to see.  

Cicero Beverage Company Candied Bacon Cream Soda isn’t gross by any means, it just doesn’t really deliver on what it promised.  So if you think bacon cream soda would be gross then Cicero Beverage Company Candied Bacon Cream Soda is for you because it tastes nothing like bacon.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Blue Plate Special Blackberry Cobbler Soda

/

Blackberry Cobbler is my favorite dessert of all time if it’s accompanied by a scoop of Blue Bell Homemade vanilla ice cream.  Here’s where my Texan shows as I made sure to include the brand of ice cream.  So I’m a bit worried to try this blackberry cobbler soda by Blue Plate Special because I know it won’t spark my taste buds like my favorite dessert.  Let’s just get this over with, shall we?

Fool Twist once shame on you.  Fool Twist twice shame on you.

Ok, so the aroma is very blackberry heavy, but also has a candy finish to it as well.  As far as fruit flavored sodas go that’s about par for the course.  It smells like the candy version of the fruit on the label.  Since soda is liquid candy the logic is solid.  

Hey, guess what everyone!  It doesn’t taste as good as my favorite dessert!  The blackberry taste is sadly much more sweet than I’d like it to be and my taste buds can’t even chase down the taste of crust.  So what I have here is an overly sugary black berry soda.  Is it good?  Yeah, it’s alright.  

Even though it’s sweetened with cane sugar the soda still holds tightly to my teeth and tongue after each sip.  It’s not really syrupy, but I could do without the aftertaste as it’s just more of the same saccharin flavor.  

Carbonation wise it works rather well with it’s small clusters of powerful fizz.  If only the taste was more than average and actually tasted like black berry cobbler.  What annoys me the most is that I know they can do it.  Blue Plate Special makes the most accurate Red Velvet Cake item outside of Red Velvet Cake.  Why does blackberry cobbler have to suffer.

I’m going to stop now before I get too harsh with the review.  The bottom line is that this is an alright soda that doesn’t deliver on what the label promises.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Trader Joe's Triple Ginger Brew

/

Ginger Beer could be classified as a “holiday” soda right?  It’s bubbly, spiced, and in this case in a red, white, and green labeled bottle.  The Christmas soda I’m speaking of precisely is Trader Joe’s Triple Ginger Brew and the bottle I have is insanely large.  So large I’m probably not supposed to drink out of it, but who cares.  What if I just wanted over 25 oz of ginger brew?

No where on this bottle does it say “all natural”, but a quick look at the ingredient list would show you it is.  If you’re familiar with Trader Joe’s then this didn’t surprise you at all, nor should it come as a shock to see that it’s sweetened with cane sugar.  I think it’s about time we open this fantastic top and get to reviewing, don’t you?

The top quite literally popped, so loud in fact that I was fearful that it woke my sleeping baby.  If it had the review would have looked something like thls:

Trader Joe’s Triple Ginger Brew

Stupid bottle ruins life.

Verdict - Burn it to the ground

Thankfully it did not wake my baby, so the review can continue on as scheduled.

The scent that so raucously escaped is definitely that of a ginger beer.  As it should be, the ginger aroma is incredibly strong and all but masks the pineapple backing it.  More than likely I’ll taste the pineapple with my first sip, but it wasn’t strong enough to make the aromatic debut.

Whelp, that’s a ginger beer.  The non ginger flavors are a bit more subtle than I thought they would be.  As muted as they may be I can still make out the honey and pineapple used in the creation of this soda.  The ginger flavor on the other hand is as loud as the bottle when I opened it... perhaps a bit too loud.

Over the years I’ve gotten used to the burn that ginger beers produce.  Trader Joe’s Triple Ginger Brew seems overly strong just for the sake of being strong.  As soon as the beverage hits my mouth my taste buds rush to experience the flavor before ginger appears.  Less than a second later ginger storms into the room and just starts screaming.  Yes, we know you’re important ginger and we expected your volume to be a bit higher.  Just… just chill out a little, man.  You’re name is on the bottle, we know whose party this is.  

Such an artistic angle.

Instead ginger just stands there screaming with a festive hat on.  Meanwhile pineapple and honey are wondering if any of their other friends are going to show up… they’re not.

I must admit the more I drink it the more familiar I’m becoming with the burning sensation, but at no point do I think this couldn’t be improved upon by lessening the amount of ginger used.  All in all though this is a pretty good ginger beer.  The ingredients are great, the bottle is great, the flavor is ok.  Give it a go if you run across it.  I’m not sure I’d want multiples of it when better brands are out there, but that’s why you have your own free will.

~A

This soda was purchased at Trader Joe’s and then given to me by Buttons.

Cockta

/

I took November off, so sue me.  Please don’t sue me.  So how should I start December you ask?  You didn’t ask… you probably stopped visiting the site once a review didn’t appear after four weeks.  “Soda Jerks?”  You said, “More like Soda… Jerks!”  Then you high fived the nearest human.  To answer my own question, I think I’m gonna try that old Slovenia favorite, Cockta!  

Cockta originates in Slovenia as stated earlier and was born in the 1950’s.  They wanted to make a familiar drink using local herbs, but original when compared to foreign beverages.  Since I can’t read any of the writing on this bottle I’m just ignorantly assuming this is Slovenian Coke.  

Well dang it.  I didn’t get any Cockta rewards points under my cap.  Nor am I getting any sort of Coke aroma coming out of the bottle.  In fact it smells a bit more syrupy root beer with an odd flowery scent.  Color my tongue interested.

That’s unique alright, but my mind is trying to decide if it likes it or loves it.  Cola flavored Dimetapp.  That’s what Cockta tastes like.  It has an initial cola taste but once I swish it around  in my mouth and consume it an oddly familiar grape mouth feel rises to the top.  

Twist has rosehips as well, but he won't let me photograph them.

Even though I used “grape” to describe the mouth feel it’s not an primary flavor of Cockta.  Yes, there are hints of a grape soda in each sip, but I’d be wrong to lead you to believe the taste was grape.  I’m going to have to see what’s in this… give me a moment to research.

Rosehip!  That’s what’s causing my pallet to struggle.  It also uses lemon and orange in the makings.  According to the website they use the same 11 types of herbs that originally created the first bottles of Cockta.  They also don’t use HFCS and it’s caffeine free.

All of this creates a really unique soda.  It’s a fruit flavored cola with rosehips.  Now that I know some of the ingredients it makes a little more sense to me.  It still doesn’t completely explain why it tastes like Dimetapp Cola, but who cares.  

It’s a little syrupy and hangs onto my teeth a bit longer than I’d like, though this could be due to the fact that it was delivered to me via plane and is about 6 months old.  With that said I’ll keep the mouth feel critiques away from the score.

Cockta is a lot for my brain to wrap around.  Why did I pick this for my return to soda reviewing?  Perhaps it’s just showing me how new I still am to the soda game.  Perhaps it’s revving up my tastebuds to be on their best game.  Either way I’m glad I had it and I’m glad to be back.  

~A

This bottle was supplied to me by my friend Jibbity D

Dang! That’s Good Butterscotch Root Beer

/

I’m pretty sure I love butterscotch root beer.  I haven’t had many of them, but the ones I have had were delightful.  A smooth creamy texture that would put most any cream soda to shame, the mouthfeel of these tasty beverages is one of the biggest selling points in my book.  So of course I picked up a bottle of Dang! That’s Good Butterscotch Root Beer when I saw it.  I mean Dang! who wouldn’t?  

Twist has a Dang! Shirt, but he won't let me wear it.

A buttery scotchy aroma moves easily from the mouth of the bottle.  In terms of odor it seems that the root beer takes the back seat while your grandpa’s butterscotch has taken the wheel.  I kind of hope that’s how the flavor plays out as well.

Don’t you love it when you drink from the bottle and the bubbles create that unique bass beat as they move toward the back?  I’m not sure I described that well enough to convey what I’m trying to get across, but I think it’s a pretty great event.

The initial sip tastes of butterscotch and root beer equally.  There is no fighting for first, they just both showed up at the same time and smiled.  As the seconds pass by my gaze shifts to root beer as he tries to get noticed, but it’s not too long that butterscotch eventually pushes root beer to the side and stands there like nothing happened.  While I can hear root beer crying, he’s now out of view so I’m not as affected.  Then as butterscotch stands there smiling he eventually throws up on my shoes.

Ok, so that comparison went a little haywire at the end.  I’ll just say it the boring way.  The beverage creates an initial root beer butterscotch taste which isn’t amazing but works.  The root beer taste becomes a bit more noticeable as time passes, but eventually the richness of the butterscotch overpowers it.  The longer the butterscotch lingers the more it tastes of chemicals until I have to follow up with another swig to reset the process.  See, that wasn’t so confusing.

All in all Dang! That’s Good Butterscotch Root Beer is indeed that...good.  It’s not stellar or amazing, it’s good and it has some weak points as mentioned above.  If you see one, grab one and try it for yourself.  I doubt you’ll be sorry.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Cicero Beverage Company Salted Caramel Root Beer

/

Whenever I review a beverage with a particularly lengthy name I always make mention of it.  Today will be no different as I review Cicero Beverage Company’s Salted Caramel Root Beer which will from hereon be called CBCSCRB which will from here on be called SCRB or Scrub.  Now I don’t mean to be a Creep, but I just don’t feel like typing all that out over and over again.  Scrub’s label has that “burnt western paper” look to it, but also includes a picture of a fully realized city on it.  Kind of a mixed message if you ask me, but you didn’t.  This fully realized city has a river of caramel running through it which eventually flows out onto the singed western paper.  

Now it seems to me that salted caramel is seeing a rise in popularity.  Hands Up if you’ve noticed this too.  I’ve personally seen it in a few different food locations with my favorite being salted caramel peanuts.  If you haven’t tried said peanuts you need to.  This peanut experience has taught me that I enjoy salted caramel.  Coupled with the fact that I enjoy root beer tells me I should also enjoy Scrub.

Looking at the ingredients I see that Scrub is sweetened with sugar and also has a bit of salt in it as well.  Seeing salt makes me think three things.  That’s Crazy.  That’s Sexy.  That’s Cool.  Crazy because who puts salt in a soda.  Sexy because they put salt in a soda and that shows they’re willing to take risks.  Cool because...well mostly the same reasons for Sexy.  Enough Girl Talk, let me just open this already while it’s still Chilli.

The aroma received isn’t all that strong a smell.  I had to sharply inhale to even get the root beer scent to register.  Waaaaay in the back of the club you can kind of see Salted Caramel through all the smoke.  At least I think that’s him.  Perhaps I’d better take a close look.  

Wow, Scrub has an incredibly light mouth feel.  That’s insane how foamy each sip is.  It’s not to the point of being Unpretty, but it’s a little off putting.  What’s odd is that the beverage doesn’t create much of a head within the bottle.  

Twist has chased a lot of Waterfalls, but thinks a caramel one would be pretty easy to run down.

As for the salted caramel taste, well it’s very light and I’m somewhat disappointed in that.  I’d rather the disgusting in your face (literally) taste of an overly done salted caramel than something so subtle it hardly even registers.  Now as you know, I Ain’t too Proud to Beg so PLEASE someone make a salted caramel root beer where the salt just walks in with a swagger and sits on your tongue daring you to not like it.  I would send so much Fanmail if someone could pull that off.

Even with that complaint, Scrub still tastes pretty dang good.  The root beer that’s used is a solid foundation on what could have been a knock it out of the park kind of drink.  Here is where the incredibly foamy mouth feel helps set it apart from other root beers.  Even though it does a great job at being a root beer I will lower the ranking some because I don’t believe the listed taste is represented well enough in the product.

So, what is a Scrub.  A Scrub is a soda that gets some love from me...due to the reasons listed above.  Should you pick up a pack?  Only if you find it during some Red Light Special.  Personally I think you’d be fine… (elipses for suspense)

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Cawy Lemon Lime

/

Welcome to “Plain-cans-ville”.  This can of Cawy Lemon Lime, much like it’s Watermelon soda, looks like something you’d see in a sitcom vending machine.  It’s made by Cawy and the flavor is lemon lime.  That’s all the label wants you to know.  Oh, and there’s some snowflakes of some sort as well… perhaps they’re stars.  Who knows?  

If I judged books by their covers I’d say this is going to be insanely generic although I’m happy to see the ingredients include extract of lemon and lime oils.  Perhaps this one ingredient will push this from generic to recomendable.  That’s quite the important leap in rating.  Let’s find out together shall we, as we always do… because we’re a team you and I.

A stronger than expected lemon lime scent (heavier on the lemon) pops out of the mouth of the can.  Aside from being strong the aroma itself is nothing special.  I’m ok with “regular aromas” though because they’re more likely to lead to average or good drinks than they are bad.  Either my expectations will be met or they’ll be exceeded.  C’mon, buddy.  Let’s you and me find out together.  Team us!

You're a syrupy aftertaste!  No, you are!

Two things.  Thing one is the fact that this is more lime based in terms of flavor than it is lemon.  Does that make it a Lime Lemon drink?  Thing two is the fact that there’s something off about the taste of this, but i can’t put my finger on it.  Perhaps “Thing two” will go away the more I consume as my palette gets used to the flavor.  

Cawy Lemon Lime does have a decent amount of flavor to it.  Thankfully this flavor is pretty good and in my opinion better than Sprite, but not quite as good as 7Up if we’re going to compare.  The lime taste I’m getting is fairly sweet and candy like while the lemon seems to be on par with other limon sodas.

As I hoped “Thing two” is pretty much fading away although I think I figured it out.  Some drinks have syrupy aftertastes that linger after each sip.  Cawy Lemon Lime gives you this experience right off the bat.  The first thing I taste is that syrupy aftertaste and it lingers throughout the entire duration of my sip.  On the plus side the more I drink the less I notice it as it builds upon itself to the point where everything tastes kind of syrupy candy limey.  That’s the kind of review you get here folks.  What does Cawy Lemon Lime taste like?  Well it’s kind of syrupy candy limey.  Good night, everybody!

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Jones Peanut Butter and Jelly Soda

/

It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed a Jones soda.  Probably because I don’t run across them in the wild as often as I once did.  So a smile hit my face when I stumbled upon a bottle of Jones Peanut Butter and Jelly Soda which will from here on out be called JPBJS.  

I’ve had a PB&J soda before by Lester’s Fixins, so this isn’t my first foray into the world of sandwich sodas.  My bottle of JPBSJ has a picture of a man who has taken several bites out of his PB&J sandwich.  The look on his face is so full of contentment and joy that he now makes me want to stop this review and eat a PB&J sandwich.  If PB&J were a brand this man would be the best advertising icon of the 21st century.  Man, that looks good!

Hopefully the flavor of the soda will bring the same expression to my face.  The fact that it’s sweetened with cane sugar is a good start.  Let’s see if the taste is a good finish.

Twist is so happy he's a vibrant green.

The scent of JPBJS is one of the most bizarre things I’ve come across.  It smells like two separate scents from two separate items.  The grape is very “grape soda” smelling and not so much jelly.  Standing right beside this grape scent is that of a very dense peanut butter.  It’s quite odd how these two aromas are so distinct coming out of this bottle.  This gives me hope for the taste.

That’s pretty dang accurate.  I may not be making the face of the greatest advertising icon of the 21st century, but the expression I am making is one of quiet respect.  An initial burst of mild grape soda, which would honestly be quite good on its own, starts the show.  A moment later the peanut butter catches up and completes the C-C-C-Combo.  This combination of flavors works seamlessly together as they would in the food dimension.  Even though I’m sure at least a portion of this taste was created chemically (the soda contains no peanuts) my brain doesn’t have the constant thought of “fake flavor” running through it with each sip.

As you read prior, I’ve only had two PB&J sodas so far on my infinite soda journey.  So I can without a doubt say that Jones Peanut Butter and Jelly Soda is the best PB&J soda I’ve ever had to date.  There you go PR people.  There’s the quote you can use, slightly edited, for the cover of your magazines.

“Jones Peanut Butter and Jelly Soda is the Best PB&J soda I’ve ever had…” - Aaron of The Soda Jerks

Seriously though, it’s a great soda and it’s to its credit that even though it’s an odd flavor I could still see myself drinking this on the regular.  Perhaps you should too.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Boylan Orange

/

Good ol’ reliable Boylan Bottling Co.  Some of the first sodas we reviewed on this site were Boylan, but then I stopped.  I stopped because I knew Boylan would always be there for me if I needed to review something good, but couldn’t find anything odd.  It’s the same reason I don’t do a lot of Jones Soda either.  I think over the past 5 years I’ve reviewed most every Boylan though.  I’m sure there’s a few I’ve yet to conquer, but my love of Boylan has been a slow burn.  That fuse has finally led me to Boylan Orange.  

Wanna know what’s in Boylan Orange?  Me too.  Carbonated Water, cane sugar, mandarin and tangerine oils, natural orange flavors, citric acid, ester gum, yellow 6, and sodium benzoate.  Aside from those last two ingredients, that’s a respectable cast of characters for the Boylan Orange Show.  Every play has a couple of kids dressed like trees and talking to each other, so we may be able to let the last two slide if we don’t find ourselves sneaking out by intermission.

Perfection

A strong orange odor, or odorange, lifts out of the mouth of the bottle.  A natural orange scent paired with that of orange candy is what my nose notices, or nosetices.  Now that I’ve created the two newest words in the English language I feel I’ve accomplished enough to go on.

Boylan Orange tastes a bit more tangerine than orange to me, but that’s completely acceptable as tangerine is the sweeter of the two citrus and has a very similar flavor.  These two flavors are backed by tightly packed miniature bubbles that sprint quickly across the stage without hardly anyone noticing until they're almost out of view.  The carbonation lift at the end of each sip gives my throat just enough harshness to make me smile.  After all an orange soda should cause a little burn, at least in my book.  

Fun fact:  Most orange sodas have a cardboard aftertaste to me.  Honestly though, I don’t know why I taste cardboard in so many of them.  I really wish I knew what made my taste buds react that way.  Thankfully Boylan Orange doesn’t succumb to this nearly as much as others do.  I’m looking at you Frostie!

All in all Boylan Orange is a very good orange soda though I’ve found two detractors during my drinking of it.  As I’ve consumed this entire bottle the sweet flavor has built upon itself to be cloyingly sweet by my last few sips.  This same build up created a somewhat syrupy mouthfeel by the end as well.  So it’s very good, but it’s not perfection.  Who is though besides Twist?

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Cawy Watermelon

/

This can of soda looks like something you’d see on a television show.  Like a bag of “Let’s Potato Chips” it just looks incredibly fake.  The word “Watermelon” is emblazoned at the top of the can with a country bumpkin kid below enjoying the worlds largest piece of watermelon.  Only after searching the can for a bit do I see that it’s made by Cawy.  Cawy was an international brand founded in Cuba, but is now headquartered in Miami, Florida.  

A scroll with French words on it label one side of the can while what can only be assumed to be the English translation occupy the other side.  “Soda, Naturally and Artificially Flavored” it says.  Let’s run the other side through Google Translate and see what we get.  “Soda flavored with watermelon.”  That’s not quite the same thing at all.  In fact according to the ingredients it’s a straight up lie.  Natural flavors aren’t even a listed ingredient.  This Cawy Watermelon is getting shadier by the second.  Better open it up before I learn too much.

Twist is crying.  You just can't tell.

Ok, so it smells like watermelon and a little bit of cantaloupe.  In case you’re not aware, I’m under the belief that cantaloupe was created by the devil.  Why else would it taste so foul?  Clearly Satan made it to trick people into eating it.  Every fruit it touches it ruins.  It’s truly an evil fruit.  With that said I really don’t want to drink this.

I have no idea what this even tastes like.  It’s not “projectile vomit” bad, but I’m almost certain I won’t be finishing this can.  A sickly sweet watermelon(?) taste oozes over the entirety of my mouth.  Even my lips are subjected to this interesting flavor.  When I’m not tasting watermelon(?) I’m tasting bubble gum and I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be.  The mingling of the two flavors results in the birth of a sugary medicinal baby.  Quite similar to Amoxicillin, but add a terrible watermelon(?) taste to the mix.

I think I’m going to stop now.  Don’t get me wrong there is a very brief upside to this soda.  Remember?  It’s not “projectile vomit” bad.  This baby doesn’t taste very good.  At the right angles he’s cute, but once you really get to know him you’ll be happy you never had kids...or if you did have kids they grew up and became root beer or cola.  You know, something respectable.

~A

This soda was purchased at World Market

Nesbitt's Honey Lemonade

/

I like lemonade.  Who doesn’t?  Don’t answer that because I would judge you harshly.  I also like soda.  Who doesn’t?  None of you because you’re reading this site.  I seriously doubt my prose are impressive enough to pull people (if you can call them that) that hate soda.  So since I like both lemonade and soda you know I love it when a carbonated lemonade finds its way in front of me.  Today that beverage is called Nesbitt’s Honey Lemonade and their logo is fantastic!  It’s the kind of logo I would proudly wear.  A circular logo that half lemon and half honey comb.  Genius!  

Twist is disappointed, but you didn't hear it from me.

Looking at the ingredients I see this is sadly sweetened with HFCS, but also includes honey!  It’s listed right there next to Yellow #5 so you know it must be an important ingredient.  Yellow #5 and Honey working together as they always should.  OK, so I wish this was a little more natural of a drink.  Perhaps the flavor will make me forget my wish.

Impressively enough the aroma that comes off the bottle is indeed a mixture of lemon and honey.  The honey rides in on the tart scent of the lemon.  He’s waving wildly to make sure I notice him and see the neat trick he’s doing, but I knew he was there from aroma alone.

That is the finest (in the minimal sense) carbonation level I think I’ve ever encountered.  Such a miniscule amount of fizz, barely enough to even register as a mouth feel.  Like a feather tickling an elephant it is.  I understand they didn’t want to take away from the fact that it’s a lemonade, but c’mon.

As for the flavor I see why the honey was trying to get my attention earlier.  If I didn’t know about him it would be easy to just think this was a sweet lemonade.  Thankfully he waved at me so I can appreciate the mild honey flavor I get with every sip.  Average is how I would rate the lemonade portion of this soda.  It’s not all that flavorful and you could replicate it by purchasing numerous other products.  

Now that I’m at the bottom of the bottle I’m finding that the honey flavor stacks on itself a little bit.  It’s not enough for me to rethink the rating of this beverage, but it’s a neat thing to look forward too.  All in all this is a fun concept that ended up being a passable soda.

~A